Monday, 4 November 2019

Tally Ho!


Captain Edmund Blackadder, Lieutenant The Honourable George Colthurst St. Barleigh, MC, Driver Bobby Parkhurst and Wing Commander The Lord Flashheart

[Some time has elapsed.  Flasheart is regaling an enthralled George with
 stories.  BA is reading a copy of `King and Country' at the table,
 uninterested in what Flasheart has to say.]

Flasheart        . . . so I flew straight through her bedroom window,
                 popped a box of chocs on the dressing table,
                 machine-gunned my telephone number into the wall, and
                 then shot off and shagged her sister.

[As George creases up, Bobby Parkhurst enters the dugout.]

Bobby            Ahem.  Driver Parkhurst reporting for duty, my Lord . . .

Flasheart        Well, well, well.  If it isn't little Bobby Parkhurst--
                 saucier than a direct hit on a Heinz factory.

Bobby            I've come to pick you up.

Flasheart        Well, that's how I like my girls--direct and to my point.
                 Woof!

Bobby            Woof!

[Flasheart removes his feet from Baldrick,  grabs Bobby and puts her across
 his lap and begins to snog her.  During the snog BA sarcastically checks
 his watch.]

Flasheart        Ah!  Tally ho, then!  Back to the bar.  You should join
                 the Flying Corps, George.  That's the way to fight a war.
                 Tasty tuck, soft beds and a uniform so smart it's got a
                 PhD from Cambridge.

[Flasheart gestures at Baldrick.]

Flasheart        You could even bring the breath monster here.  Anyone can
                 be a navigator if he can tell his arse from his elbow.

BA               Well, that's Baldrick out, I fear . . .

Flasheart        We're always looking for talented types to join the
                 Twenty Minuters.

BA               . . . and there goes George.

[Flasheart rises from the chair, lifting Bobby in his arms.]

Flasheart        Tally ho, then, Bobby.  Hush, here comes a whizz-bang and I
                 think you know what I'm talking about!  Woof!

Bobby            Woof!

2 comments:

Vagabond said...

The Flashheart figure is spot on, and the verbals bring back the programme vividly, one of thd best comedy shows. :)

Martin Thornton said...

Flashheart is a lovely figure, very easy to paint. I do agree, one of the best shows ever.