The Ruin of Mimsie Hawley - Turn 7

The slaughter continues. Enraged by the sight of his leader falling to the ground, Sir John Falstaff charges into the fray to confront Sir Francis.

Lord Melchett moves around behind Sir John and attempts to take Lord Percy Percy from the rear. No doubt Percy has experience of this sort of thing, you know what these aristocrats are like! To Percy's front, Sir Miles Cholmondely-Warner gamely tramples over the body of Sir Guffington Shortcake with a cry of "Have at you, Sir!"

Wrench runs to join the combat but is too far away to engage anyone. Puck on the other hand is close enough to join his master in the combat against fat Sir John.

So, at the end of turn 7, there are two combats to resolve, both two against one in Sir Francis's retinue's favour. Sir Jaspar's men had priority and chose to resolve Sir John's combat first. Sir John gains the initiative and strikes a mighty blow at Sir Francis. Sir Francis if you recall, already has a light wound from Sir John's ball in his arm. With this affecting his fighting, Sir John runs him through and Sir Francis will never strike again, he is an ex-swashbuckler. Puck strikes with his halberd at Sir John but the fat man blocks his attack and strikes back. His rapier passes right through Puck and out the other side. Puck is mortally wounded and expires gracefully. The odds have changed rapidly with this startling development. Both leaders now dead, the side-kicks battle on. Lord Percy is facing Sir Miles but before he can do anything, Melchett has struck from behind and killed him.

The butcher's bill now stands at one dead cardinal, one dead daughter, two dead leaders, three dead side-kicks and one dead servant. Sir Francis's men need not test for morale this turn. Sir Jaspar's men need to test but with Sir John's inspiring attribute, they automatically pass their first morale test. The fight continues.

To be continued...

The Ruin of Mimsie Hawley - Turn 6 Conclusion

The slaughter continues. We left Sir Francis and Sir Jaspar face-to-face with rapiers drawn about to engage in mortal combat. Both felt that their lives had been leading up to this moment, such was their enmity for each other.

I was thinking about bringing Capitaine-General Kenwood-Chef into the game in a sort of RPG interlude but I saw that the 'red mist' had descended on both players and they were likely to slaughter anything that moved. Kenwood-Chef and his company, thinking discretion the better part of valour, observe the tragedy from behind the front gate to Gusset House.

Although hampered by a ball in the arm, Sir Francis struck first and although Sir Jaspar riposted he received a grievous wound. Sir Jaspar has the attribute 'Lucky' which forces a re-roll making it a light wound. Sir Francis attacks again and runs Sir Jaspar through. Sir Jaspar will strike no more, he sinks to the ground and with a final twirl of his moustachio, shuffles off this mortal coil! Sir Jaspar has expired and gone to meet his maker.

...and now, after that cliff-hanger we turn to see how the side-kicks fare in this clash of the titans. Lord Melchett, the banner bearer is facing Sir Nathaniel Toastrack. Winning the initiative roll to go first, Lord Melchett strikes a Mighty Blow and using his Powerful attribute disposes of Toastrack in a very business-like manner. Toastrack joins his leader on the ground, stiff and bereft of life, now at peace and very soon to be pushing up the daisies.

...and we turn to the last combat this turn being fought in what will become Bloody Lane in villagers memories. Sir Guffington Shortbread is up against Lord Percy Percy. With a frightening display of swordsmanship, Lord Percy finishes Sir Guffington with a single attack. Sir Guffington has passed on, he is no more, he has ceased to be. There we temporarily leave this sad tale as turn 6 ends I feel sure that more slaughter will ensue before this story draws to a close.

To be continued...

The Ruin of Mimsie Hawley - Turn 6 - Shocking Developments!

I was intending to post each time a turn was completed. However, so much has happened that I felt this time I will post turn 6's shooting and movement and add the expected combat as a second post. Absolutely shocking events, dear reader, have occurred in Higgleford-cum-Wortlebury-beneath-the-Hill. Innocent blood spilled carelessly like spoilt milk on the cobbles of that peaceful village.

Bottom spent the last move aiming so gets a +1 which cancels out the -1 for a matchlock which is listed as ‘inaccurate’. He lets fly at Sir John Falstaff and the lead ball creases the side of Sir John’s head, leaving him stunned. Or it would do, but Sir John has the attribute 'Tough' which means he can ignore light wounds (although the effects still mount cumulatively to cause a grievous wound).

Puck uses his halberd to chop off the Cardinal’s head and makes a short move to bung it over the wall of Gusset House. On his way up the lane Sir Francis shouts through the railings to the barbeque party "We have killed a Catholic Cardinal and will throw his head over to you for disposal. There are more of the Catholic bastards here. They have kidnapped my daughter and we are going to kill every last one of them. Come and help join in the fun."

Capitaine-General Montmorency Kenwood-Chef is as deaf as a post! He hasn’t heard most of the shouting that has taken place over the last three moves or so, so nothing happens there, except the Purple Hood (for it is he) gives the head a kick as it flies past and expertly slots it through the door of the pig sty! “Goooaaal!” he shouts.

Sir Francis is within 6” of Sir Jaspar and challenges him to single combat.  "Jasper thou craven sheep-biting miscreant, adulterate spawn of a toad-spotted hedge-pig, offspring of a goatish half-faced leprous witch! I, Sir Francis Hawley challenge you to a duel thou mewling craven rough-hewn, hugger-mugger!" 

Stirrup has a shot at Sir Guffington. He fires and the heavy lead ball bounces harmlessly off of Sir Guffington’s morion. Hearing Sir Francis’s challenge to single combat, Sir Jaspar replies in the affirmative but as he accepts the challenge, at the very same moment, Sir John draws a pistole from his voluminous breeches and discharges it at Sir Francis. Sir Francis is hit in the arm, a light wound. However, it will affect his performance in the coming duel to the death!

Mimsie, having been left to her own devices starts to make a move towards Hanging Cross with the intention of turning right and heading towards Nether Transom and home. Unfortunately for her, the treacherous Sir Jaspar has dispatched Wrench to give her a blow from his mighty weapon. Wrench catches her in the centre of the crossroads and with one blow cleaves her in twain from neck to waist, in full view of the horrified villagers! “Well, she’s no bloody use now, is she?!” shouts Sir Jaspar. So the casualty score at present is one dead unarmed Jesuit Cardinal and one dead unarmed female innocent. Who said the days of chivalry were long gone (well, whoever it was, he was bloody well right)?

Following that, those members of the Cowie retinue who can advance, move into combat. Sir Jaspar and Sir Francis come face to face, close enough to smell the sweat and last night’s curry. This is a Duel and as such, no other figure can interfere until one of the two combatants falls to the ground with a mortal wound. Sir Nathaniel Toastrack moves to engage Lord Melchett and Lord Percy Percy engages Sir Guffington. At this point, Sir Miles cannot get into the fight.

 En Garde, gentlemen!

You should see the insults being exchanged on our Whatsapp group between Sir Jaspar and Sir Francis!

To be continued...

The Ruin of Mimsie Hawley - Turn 5

Sir Francis and most of his chaps surround poor Cardinal Ximinez. Ximinez starts to worry and rightly so! Base to base contact so 5 bravados are engaged with the Cardinal who ranks as a civilian in the game. Before the combat is resolved, though Sir Jaspar has to make his move and resolve any shooting.

The exception to the mobbing of Ximinez is Bottom. Sir Francis ordered Bottom to stand his ground and take aim at the big fat man at the front i.e. Sir John Falstaff. Taking aim in a turn gives you a +1 shooting in the next turn.

Stirrup was tasked to get off a shot if he could. Finding himself out of range in his current position, he elected to make a short move which would still allow him to shoot. However, the 3” short move was reduced to half as he had to climb over a wall. After that, the only figure in range was Bottom but he was masked by Sir Jaspar and his men, so no shot. The cart moved to keep pace with Stirrup.

The rest of the merrye band made another run forwards. This resulted in the positions in the photos below. N.B. Mimsie is now more than 3” away from any of Sir Jaspar’s men.

Whilst Sir Francis and his men have been making soothing noises to the alarmed Cardinal, they have quietly surrounded him. Sir Francis already has his rapier in hand (ooh err, missus!) and 40” of cold British steel penetrates the heart of poor Ximenez. He falls to the dusty road, his life blood emptying from his twitching body. Oh, the horror...

To be continued...

The Ruin of Mimsie Hawley - Turn 4

Sir Francis has continued to move the whole group forward at a run. His boys are shouting and although Sir Jaspar's chaps shouted "Don’t listen to him, Your Eminence. He’s a heretic and he seeks to murder you" during their last move, Sir Francis’s men are very much closer and shouting the same sort of thing but adding that off to their right they are roasting a Catholic, and he must not come into the village.

Cardinal Ximinez is now very confused as Sir Francis’s boys are telling him to lay down. Ximinez has no wish to be buggered by Left-Footers or Prods! He wishes he bought Cardinal Biggles or Cardinal Fang with him. No-one expects Cardinal Biggles or Cardinal Fang!

Ximinez moves forward a couple of paces in order to speak with these mad Englishmen but refuses to get his Jesuit robes dirty by lying in the dust. These Spaniards are very proud men!

Stirrup has spent this move reloading his matchlock, so he has not moved. The matchlock takes one turn to reload so he will be ready to shoot on Turn 5. The cart has not moved and remains under Stirrup’s control.

Sir John, Sir Nathaniel and Sir Jaspar have run forward 9”. Mimsie can only move 6” but was within 3” of the Cowie chaps so she moves north 6”. Lord Percy and Wrench also ran but had to cross a low wall. This reduced their run move to 6” and puts them 3” in front of Mimsie.

To be continued...

The Ruin of Mimsie Hawley - Turn 3

Sir Francis’s men continue to leg it north, much to the chagrin of Sir Jaspar. Sir Jaspar hears them shouting and cheering for Good King Philip of Spain, Sir Francis shouts to Cardinal Ximinez that there is a Protestant plot to capture him and he is here to protect him. Ximinez seems reassured by that news and maintains his position.

Sir Francis seems to be more interested in Cardinal Xininez than the burning at Kenwood-Chef's place! Whatever can his plan be?

Sir Jaspar now activates. Stirrup takes a shot at Bottom. I was hoping he would shoot Bottom in the bottom! Unfortunately he misses, but it was pretty close. He ended (after modifiers) with an attack of 0 and he only needed a 1 to hit. I used the laser to check line of sight and Bottom’s bottom was just in view!

The rest of Sir Jaspar’s men move forward at the run. N.B. Mimsie is now 3” behind Sir Jaspar as she cannot run in those voluminous skirts! Stirrup is within 3” of the cart so it moved forward 4” as it cannot do a run move. 

Sir John shouts “ Non adquieverunt ei Eminentia. Is est haereticus, qui manifesto parricidio merita non nocere” (Don’t listen to him, Your Eminence. He’s a heretic and he seeks to murder you).

To be continued...

The Ruin of Mimsie Hawley - Turn 2

Throwing for priority in Turn 2, Sir Jaspar goes first. After this move and Sir Francis's I was alerted to the fact that I have made a complete balls-up! Sir Guffington Shortcake has the Tactician attribute which in En Garde! means that the warband he is in always has priority. Apologies, Sir Francis, you will go first in every turn from now on.

Sir Jaspar moves his entourage forward.

In a surprising turn of events, Sir Francis's warband break into a run and turn left at Hanging Cross, heading north.

I wonder if they are going to pop in to Gusset House for the burning? Should be a good one today, local girl!

To be continued...

A New Blog for an Old Friend.

I have added a link to 'Gaming the Pulp' blog in my favourite sites on the right. However, I just thought I'd draw your attention to a rather good game that's going on over there at the moment.

https://thelandofthenaturaldicetwenty.blogspot.com/

It's called 'When Wealthy Wellies Meets Biker Bootie', so go and have a look. Maybe become a Follower if you like the cut of his jib?

The Ruin of Mimsie Hawley - Turn 1

TURN 1

Both parties have made their first moves but at the end of Turn 1 have not yet come in sight of each other. Because of that, I am not posting the photos yet. The players are receiving photos of their own moves but because they cannot see each other they do not see the other person's moves. This is a nice change from where, when we are all together in the room, everybody can see what you are doing even if it's out of sight of your actual figures on the table. We have a real 'fog of war' here.

Sir Francis moved first and his voice which can cut through the winds in the Roaring Forties and reach from the Poop to the pointy end of his ship was heard to utter "Forsooth! Thou art a craven weather-bitten jack-a-nape! Thou qualling full-gorged slug! Thou shameless decayed maggot-pie! Meet me in man to man combat Thou tongueless rump-fed vile worm!"

Sir Jaspar moved next and although had no view of his approaching opponent replied that Sir J doesn’t presume to yell oaths like a proddie-heretic but Sir John is not so restrained. In a voice that has echoed across many a battlefield he responds: "Silence, spawn of the diseased womb of a poxed wyvern - cease thy fowle blabberings - does not thou knowe better than to utter ye curse in the presence of ye fair sexe?"

Sir Jaspar wins the toss for priority in Turn 2 and we await his next move with bated breath!

*Photos will be added here when the blustering buffoons come into each other's view, gawd 'elp 'em!

Edit: 21st April. Following Doug's move in Turn 2, the opposing forces have come in sight of each other and the fog of war has lifted from the scene. I can post the two moves for Turn 1.

Sir Francis went first in Turn 1 and moved east as a group towards Hanging Cross. They can be seen centre left.

Sir Jaspar, hearing the salty old sea dog roaring invective, has gathered his roistering crew together and with Mimsie and cart in tow, moved north, also towards Hanging Cross.

To be continued...

The Ruin of Mimsie Hawley - Preamble

...and now for something completely different! Today sees the start of our attempt to reconnect with the rest of the world (well, Doug and Vagabond anyway) via an on-line wargame. Inspired by other gamers, we are going to play three games, perhaps simultaneously. Each of us will host one game whilst participating in the other two games in a virtual sense. Clear as mud, eh? My game (set in Elizabethan times) will feature here and I will link to the other two when they post an AAR. I am intending to post my AAR turn by turn.

So, without further ado I present 'The Ruin of Mimsie Hawley' being a storye of loveth and revenge in several divers partes. I am using Osprey's En Garde! rules and acting as umpire. Doug is Sir Jaspar Cowie and Vagabond is Sir Francis Hawley.

Victory points have been set, as follows:

The Dramatis Personae:

Special rules for the movement of Mimsie:

Ye mappe of ye starte:

Just an ordinary Saturday afternoon at Gusset House as Captaine-General Montmorency Kenwood-Chef burns a Recusant Catholic on his front lawn. Several guests from the village have been invited to enjoy the spectacle:

The merrye scene at Ye Pink Pelican Inne as Sir Jaspar and his boys disport themselves and wet their respective whistles:

To be continued...

Back to the Pirates...

The Great Jam Raid was a welcome diversion but there are fears amongst my gaming friends that I am going off-piste when I should be painting pirates. A certain diversion into African bush wars (of which a posting later) has caused consternation. However, to get back on track I have finished the first island. These are more representations than scale models and are intended to give flat surfaces for figures. This will be the first in a chain of five linked by some sort of rope and plank bridge.

The sharp-eyed amongst you will have spotted a beautiful Pirate Queen atop the outcrop. This is none other than Lady Dulcinea Cabstanleigh. Lady Cabstanleigh was kidnapped as a young girl when attempting to travel to Maracaibo (her family have holdings there) through the Caribbean Sea. Specifically the El Pasaje Ventoso, the straits which lead to Islas de Pasaje de Vuelta. Having been taken aboard Edward Teach's ship Queen Anne's Revenge, the fair Dulcinea was put to work as a powder monkey. Protected by Teach and Israel Hands,the girl grew into a woman learning sailing and gunnery under the tutelage of these infamous pirates. When Teach received a pardon from Governor Eden in North Carolina, Lady Cabstanleigh became a Pirate Queen in her own right. Sailing her 40-gun ship Dulcinea's Revenge, Lady Cabstanleigh quickly established a reputation as one of the most dangerous sea rovers in the Caribbean.

The Great Jam Raid - The Denouement

A great stroke of luck for the home team as Lord Snapcase gets to activate twice in Turn 5 before anyone else can move (leaders activate on the turn of their coloured ace). This turned out to be a game-changer.

Suppressing his grief for the moment, Lord Snapcase (who reloaded in the last turn) opens fire on the visible Sons i.e. Reg Prescott and Honeygander Gooseboote. Both barrels hit and because the shotgun is at close range and neither of them is in cover (Cleo is hogging the cover) it adds +1 to their save and they need a 6 each. Both roll a 4 and are shot down. "that'll teach 'em to shoot Milady and to meddle in my back passage" bellows the enraged Lord. Ironically, the two Sons drop in the shadow of Lord Snapcase's famous relative, Sir Francis. Lord S. then calmly proceeds to reload the Purdey.

Cleo activates next and has to take a dedication test owing to the number of casualties in her group. She rolls a 1 and decides to make a run for home. She runs for the wall where the Sons of Stan recently entered the Hall's back garden full of hopes of snaffled jam, chutney and sloe gin. “O, woe is me T' have seen what I have seen, see what I see!” thinks Cleo in one of her occasional literary moments, quoting the Bard. As she runs, she activates again and climbs the wall heading towards Loose Chippings with her proverbial tail in its proverbial position.

Peaches moves out into the open and takes a shot at Gizzard Puke. Sponge, Miss Spankhurst and Young Futtock are reloading their shotguns. Chulmleigh the bulldog charges, wishing to get his gnashers firmly attached to Gizzard's family jewels! However, one of Peaches' shots hits Gizzard before Chulmleigh can attack. Gizzard fails his save and goes down in a welter of lead. Undeterred, Chulmleigh arrives and takes a bite out of the downed Son.

Unfazed by the gunplay all around, the mean old skinflint, Albert Steptoe calmly collects the Snapcase weathervane (thanks, Dusty Shelf!) which has fallen from the roof after Old Scrotum's rather misplaced shot. "Nice bit of scrap iron that," thinks Albert and turns Hercules the carthorse for home in Oil Drum Lane.

Dr. Gitfinger has not activated yet, although when he does so he will be running for home in Cleo's footsteps. However, Old Scrotum has other plans for the jam bandit. Having now recovered his breath whilst taking time to reload, he takes careful aim at Dr. Gitfinger and fires. Gitfinger has no chance and collapses into a heap on the cobbles.

...and there our story has to end. Only one Sons of Stan makes it out of Snapcase Hall of her own volition, a lesson to all jam bandits and chutney pilferers. Some views of the final carnage.

But what of Lady Snapcase I hear you ask? Lord Snapcase and Old Scrotum both rush over to the bee hive, fearing the worst. As Snapcase leans over her and starts to mumble "My darling wife, life cut short, how will I live etc." she comes to with a start and utters the immortal words "Stuff and nonsense, you old tosspot. It's just a flesh wound. Scrotum, fetch me a bottle of the sloe gin. I need my sinews stiffened before I can raise from this inconvenient position!" Later, when summoned Dr. Bouquet (pronounced Bucket) the Much-Piddling physician removes twelve pellets from Milady's posterior. Luckily, she has anesthetised herself with the powerful homemade sloe gin and feels no pain (for the present).

Although I infused the whole game with silliness as is my wont, it was a proper game of Osprey's Black Ops. I was particularly keen to try out the stealth rules as opposed to an ordinary shoot out and the rules worked very well. I had thought the intruders would get into Snapcase Hall but Lady Snapcase proved a very alert sentry. Definitely a set of rules I will use again.

The End.