Requiescat in Pace - Doug Scott

Another hero gone.

Doug Scott, who has died aged 79 from cancer, was the first Englishman to climb Everest, but it was what happened afterwards that made him famous in the mountaineering world.

Scott and his Scottish partner, Dougal Haston, were part of Chris Bonington’s 1975 expedition to climb Everest the “hard way”, via the south-west face. Having left their top camp soon after dawn, the pair faced testing delays as Haston’s oxygen equipment iced up and unconsolidated snow, chest-deep in places, slowed their progress. It was already 3.30pm when they finally reached the lower south summit where the two climbers paused to melt snow for a much-needed drink.

Should they go on? Haston suggested stopping for the night but Scott reasoned it was better to push on and get it done. Two hours later, at around 6pm, they were at the top.

Scott was exultant and despite the late hour spent time taking in the view before descending. By the time they regained the south summit, their headlamps had failed and it was too dark to continue. With their bottled oxygen finished, Haston and Scott faced a brutal night of hypoxia and cold. No one had ever spent a night out at this altitude. Even worse for Scott, he had left his down-filled suit behind because it was too constricting to climb in. All night they struggled with hallucinations and the threat of hypothermia but both survived without frostbite and were able to descend at first light.

Requiescat in Pace - Sean Connery

 I have only just read that one of my boyhood heroes, Sean Connery died at the end of October. Here's to you, Sean.

"Now listen to me, you benighted muckers! We're going to teach you soldiering, The world's noblest profession! When we're done with you, you'll be able to stand up and slaughter your foes like civilized men! But first, you will have to learn to march in step. And do the manual of arms without even having to think! Good soldiers don't think, they just obey! Do you suppose that if a man thought twice, he'd give his life for Queen and Country? Not bloody likely! He wouldn't go near the battlefield! One look at your foolish faces tells me that you're going to be crack troops. Ohhh him there with the five-and-a-half hat size has the makings of a bloody hero!"

Las Putas de Vagabunda Ride!

 At long last the Calico Queens of Hog Thief Bend are ready to ride. Las Putas de Vagabunda are heading for El Oro Paso Mine.

The Tequila Bandidos Ride!

 I have extracted the proverbial digit and finished the Tequila Bandidos. Now to crack on with the rest of the game figures and bits.

The Tequila Bandidos

My game at the postponed DevLAM '20 was to have been the pirate game. Regular readers of this blog (possibly even reaching double figures, now!) will have seen many of the figures I had been painting for this game. The game was to take place in Islas de Pasaje de Vuelta, in the Caribbean. Doug was donating a folding 8' table and the game (somewhat ambitiously) was going to be played on a 16' long table. Hopefully, this will all take place next year now.

In the meantime, we have been playing some virtual games. I resurrected my Old West mine and have finished building it now. It just needs painting. Unfortunately no photos are to be posted here to ensure that the players do not have a map of the mine.

Here is the back-story:

Skulduggery and Mayhem in the El Oro Paso Mina

The Tequila Bandidos, led by that notorious outlaw Excavado de Vaca, have somehow come across a treasure map showing an abandoned gold mine, named the El Oro Paso Mina. The owner of the mine is said to have died in the mine with a secret stash of gold nuggets worth over a million dollars.

The mine is located just outside Hog Thief Bend in Arizona and the Bandidos have travelled up from Tijuana to investigate. Spending the night in Hog Thief Bend, they naturally frequent the Pink Pelican Saloon.

Unbeknownst to the Bandidos, the calico queens of the saloon are members of a secret society, La Putas de Vagabunda. These girls are led by none other than the legendary La Marinera Vagabunda. La Putas aims are to secure enough wealth to open their own saloon and to elect their leader as Mayoress of Hog Thief Bend.

Full of burritos and tequila, the Bandidos wax loquacious and very soon the girls are aware of the plan and the map. La Marinera Vagabunda manages to make a copy of the map whilst Excavado de Vaca snores through the night in an alcoholic dream.

Seeing that there are two entrances to the mine marked on the map, the girls plan to use the further entrance (marked on the map as El Espalda Paso) and beat the Bandidos to the gold.

La Putas arm themselves and head off to the mine in the early hours of the morning. Hours later, the hung-over Bandidos breakfast on Huevos Rancheros and refried beans and then manage to clamber onto their horses and head for the nearer entrance to the mine (marked on the map as La Frente Paso).

They look set for a windy ride!

The scene is set for an epic showdown in the mine…

There will be eight bandidos and eight Putas in the game. I've managed to paint three of each so far.

Excavado de Vaca in the green.

Trouble in Borsetshire - DevLAM '20

DevLAM '20 was to have taken place at Snapcase Hall over this weekend. Obviously, during the latest Covid-19 restrictions, The Gentlemen of Much-Piddling have been unable to gather in the ancient and dusty environs of the Snapcase's ancestral pile. The annual bean-feast has had to be postponed and The Gentlemen have had to sustain a very stiff upper-lip with nary a tremble. There has been a weeping, a wailing and a gnashing of teeth in the servant's quarters as that band of toilers were traditionally given a day off (the only one of the year) from their duties.

A typical scene from previous years at the Hall.

Doug was to have presented us with a VBCW game and here I present Doug's story of the doings in Borsetshire:

Borsetshire has remained a quiet backwater whilst all round it the turmoil of civil war rages. Until now. 

Alarming reports of incursions by various groups of communists, socialists and similar riff-raff have reached the ears of Sir Rufus Pitt-Bulstrode, Lord -Lieutenant of Borsetshire. Confirmation has been received that these groups have coalesced into one striking force which, even now, is advancing on the county town of Borchester. Fearing that the inadequate resources he has to hand, mainly poorly armed county police, are inadequate to resist the invasion, Sir Rufus has called upon his old friend, Sir Albert "Badger" Brock, the recently appointed Chief Constable of Wiltshire. Sir Albert has been very active in building a well trained, mobile armed unit as part of his force. Known as the Wiltshire Police Flying Column (WPFC), it is designed for use against enemies of the King of whatever persuasion. It recently saw service in Herefordshire against a motley collection of petty aristocracy, socialists and colonial mercenaries, for example.

Recognising a situation for which the Flying Column was admirably suited, Sir Albert assured Sir Rufus that he would send aid. Consequently, a detachment of the WPFC has been sent to Borsetshire. The efficiency of the WPFC has led to detachments being sent to various parts of the country so the whole of the unit is not available for deployment in Borsetshire. However, it’s charismatic leader, Chief Superintendent Ronald Bigsworth-Hill is on hand to command it and he has secured the services of an old friend from his BUF days as his second-in-command. Hilary Snapcase-Mosley, a distant relative of the distinguished peer, Bertram, the 10th Earl of Snapcase. Hilary is the blackest of black sheep of the family and is never spoken of in Snapcase Hall. He still uses his ridiculous BUF rank of "Storm Battalion Leader", still sports a ludicrous monocle and still stamps about in brown leather jackboots, kept in immaculate order by his valet, "Cringing" Cyril Wormtongue.

As well as a cadre of the regular WPFC, some irregulars have been included in the Borsetshire relief column to compensate for those elements detached elsewhere. It is thought some of these are ex-BUF types recruited by Hilary. Sir Albert, virulently anti BUF, has been kept in the dark about these recruits.

 First, I should have mentioned that Hilary Snapcase-Mosely is an Honourable - possibly the greatest oxymoron of all time.

 And now, the other side:

The petit-bourgeois, privileged inhabitants of Borsetshire have been congratulating themselves on having avoided the hardships of the civil war. Not anymore. Elements of various revolutionary bodies from different parts of the country have despatched comrades to foment revolution and smash the smug fascists of Borsetshire. Several sections of committed comrades have coalesced into an ad hoc platoon with the intention of marching on the county town, Borchester, hanging the town council, putting the running-dog Lord Lieutenant up against a wall and raising the red flag over the town hall. It may not be quite as easy as first thought - word has reached the Borsetshire Revolutionary Committee that reinforcements are on their way to bolster the reactionary criminals presently holding sway in the county.

Making up the Platoon for the Freedom of Borchester are a disparate group of comrades. From the Liverpool Free State comes the People’s Revolutionary Shock Army No. 6, Quasi-autonomous, Trotsky-Leninist, Assault Battalion (Women’s Section) led by the firebrand communist politician Bessie Braddock. From the South Yorkshire coalfields an élite section from the Miners Welfare Club led by the inspirational rabble-rouser, Harold Scargill. Finally, from Derbyshire a section from the LMS Locomotive Works, led by "Red" John Hawley, a political activist and demagogue. He has been elected as leader of the platoon.

In order to assist in the mayhem that is VBCW, I have been tasked with producing the Higgleford-cum-Wortlebury-beneath-the-Hill Head Post Office Rifles.

Seen here, Inspector Pat Clifton (3rd from left), Mrs. Goggins (on the left) and Tommy Flowers (on the right, on loan to the Post Office Rifles from GPO Telecommunications).

..and here, the HQ Section, L to R: Lord Haw-Haw, Sir Osbert Molesworth, Unity Valkyrie Mitford, Storm Battalion Leader the Honourable Hilary Snapcase-Mosely, Diana Mitford and last but not least Sir Roderick Spode (the 7th Earl of Sidcup and also the proprietor of a store specialising in women's underclothes, Eulalie Soeurs of Bond Street ).

Killick there, light along a pot of coffee, will you?

 On a whim, I decided to read all the Aubrey and Maturin books again. I am currently reading book eight, The Ionian Mission.

Of course, that reminded me that I had invested in Warlord's Black Seas when it came out. I decided to start with HMS Surprise as I was reading Master and Commander.

So I painted up two brigs, one English and one French.

Then I added the standing rigging to HMS Surprise.

Then the sails were added.

...and a 28mm Rifleman to show you the scale.

Since then I have started work on a frigate, but got diverted by other things. But I will finish it and get a game going soon.

“Two weevils crept from the crumbs. 'You see those weevils, Stephen?' said Jack solemnly.

I do.'

Which would you choose?'

There is not a scrap of difference. Arcades ambo. They are the same species of curculio, and there is nothing to choose between them.'

But suppose you had to choose?'

Then I should choose the right-hand weevil; it has a perceptible advantage in both length and breadth.'

There I have you,' cried Jack. 'You are bit - you are completely dished. Don't you know that in the Navy you must always choose the lesser of two weevils? Oh ha, ha, ha, ha!”

Nothing since August?

 It is with great shame that I note I have not posted anything since August. The culprit?

Gloomhaven!

My wife and I have been playing it every day since I bought it. No time for real life as we are very busy in the caverns and dungeons of Gloomhaven. We've even pre-ordered next year's new game, Frosthaven.

There has been some wargaming activity though, so I intend to catch up on a few posts. I also need to take some time to catch up with everyone else's blogging, my apologies. Anyway, more to come...

Empires at War

 I bought this Spanish/Italian Villa from Empires at War at a very reasonable price.

Spanish/Italian Villa

Here I have only glued it together with no additions. There is plenty of scope for detailing if required. This will form part of my pirate port for the (hopefully) upcoming DevLAM '20 game. It has now been agreed that we will be playing this on a table approximately 16' long and varying in width from 4' to 5'. So, more buildings needed! I like the way these buildings go together, the price is good and I think the finished result looks really good. So, more of my money going to Empires at War shortly!

The Case of 'Swiss' Tony's Thumb and the Lady Mayoress - Turn 8 - The Denouement!

The four reprobates who entered the Conservatory in turn 7, now make their way into the Ballroom. Sergeant Pat Dawkins was peering in the door on the last turn. Seeing these plug-uglies arrive in the Ballroom, she turns and runs for the safety of the Dining Room.

Unfortunately for the lovely Patricia, Terry Shortcake catches a glimpse of her running and gets a shot off. Just as Pat makes it to the doorway and possible safety, Terry's hastily fired shot hits her in the back and she's down, right in front of the astonished gaze of DCI Hawley who has reentered the Dining Room.

Who will make funny faces behind Christabelle Wickham's back now?

Having disposed of Jason King, Doug Piranha moves towards the back door to assist his colleagues in the battle against the filth!

Luther, Smith and Dixon take up firing positions in the expectation of a running gun battle with the four thugs in the Ball Room.

Here I add the exact words from Doug ex-em4's e-mailed instructions for this turn. The major gets hold of the Mayoress from behind (steady....!), holds the gun to her head and shouts, "any coppers come in here, she gets it. I ain’t joking. And you, tosspot [i.e. PC Goody] fuck off out of it, NOW..." The Major was commissioned from the ranks, hence his language and attitude to ladies.

Meanwhile, in the Library, it’s all happening. The Major has uttered his threats to kill Dame Christabelle and blow me, Plod has just bloody ignored him and come in mob-handed! Fowler leads the charge with Maggie Habib and Gene Hunt behind him. Kevin Goody moves into the attack and Derek Grim appears in another doorway.

“Give up Cadwallader, you’re nicked!” shouts Fowler.

“Bollocks, coppers, I meant what I said!” and so saying, the ex-Major shoots poor old Christabelle in the head. (shades of Mimsie Hawley and Peaches Snapcase here! Déjà vu).

The Mayoress is down and enraged all the coppers advance.

There are tears streaming down Fowler’s face as he bludgeons Crispin Cadwallader with his truncheon. Raymond carries on clobbering the Major long after the Major has shuffled off this mortal coil. Raymond has to pulled off by Maggie Habib.

Fowler is yet to learn of the demise of his partner, Pat Dawkins and he has seen his secret crush since junior school shot in front of him, quelle horreur! Quelle tragedie! As the dust settles in the Snapcase Hall Library, Raymond Fowler's mind drifts back to happier times. A memory of that time he fainted in his office and Christabelle was there to revive him. Patricia was none too happy though. That night when they got home, in a fit of pique she dashed Raymond's half-built Airfix 1/72 Lancaster Bomber to the kitchen floor. Happier times!

At this point the remaining five scrotes decide that discretion is the better part of valour and remove themselves from the Hall heading for 'Swiss' Tony's Jaguar and freedom. As Maggie Habib tries to comfort Fowler, Derek Grim starts to daydream. Will this caper be enough for him to join the Gasforth Masons? He's been assiduously practising the Mason's initiation rites in the CID room with the assistance of Gary Boyle.

Our tragedy in several diverse parts now has to end, as unhappily as it began. I would like to thank Doug ex-em4 and Vagabond for all the laughs and playing the game like the Gentlemen of Much-Piddling that they are! Well played, chaps.

The End.

The Case of 'Swiss' Tony's Thumb and the Lady Mayoress - Turn 7

All hell breaks loose in the hallway! You have to imagine all of this is happening at the same time. It took me some time to work through it.

PC Bob Lewis who is nearest to ‘Swiss’ charges forward with a cry of “You’re nicked, my son!”. Unfortunately, ‘Swiss’, who has just shot Gently and before that DC Windsor calmly takes aim and Lewis is down (does this mean he won’t be Morse’s assistant in the future?). ‘Swiss’ Tony backs away from the corridor, still facing the bodies.

Unheard by Tony, Inspector Raymond Fowler appears from a door behind Tony (the Study) and is about to strike with his truncheon as Grim appears from the Billiard Room.

‘Swiss’ Tony is now alone in the main hallway (I’ll come to Otis later) surrounded by coppers. In fact, 11 live ones to be precise and three dead coppers. “You won’t take me alive, coppers!” shouts Tony. Grim shouts to Fowler, “It is my arse on the line and I will not have you sticking your nose in and sniffing about!”.

Surrounded by the long arm of the law, Tony is defiant to the last, “stitch this, you fucking woodentops!” he ejaculates as the thin blue line draws ever tighter around him.

Grims shoots and Fowler strikes and ‘Swiss’ Tony, a legend in his own lunchtime, falls to the floor gasping, "made it, Ma! Top of the world!"

Well, everything may seem a bit of an anti-climax after that drama but there are no fat ladies in sight at the moment, singing or otherwise, so the game continues.

Whilst Fowler chose to go through the door into the hallway and take part in the demise of ‘Swiss’ Tony, PC Kevin Goody has stumbled onto the whole point of the game, Dame Christabelle Wickham QC, the Lady Mayoress of Gasforth.

Whilst Goody dithers about, trying to extract his truncheon from a pocket full of Spangles and Crunchie wrappers, Major Cadwallader takes a shot at Goody. The Lady Mayoress manages to knock his arm just as he shoots and the bullet takes the top off of Goody’s helmet. Should one be looking for it, a faint odour of urine now arises from Goody's uniform trouser area.

Otis Spunkmeyer gets a shot in at PC Luther but misses, Luther, Smith and Dixon charge in and batter poor Otis to the floor.

...meanwhile, out in the back garden, we return to the never-ending ruck with Jason King. Elsie Tanner, armed with her ammonia spray and Doug Piranha, armed with a pickaxe handle advance on King. “Ave some of this, ponce” grunts Doug.

The doyen of Department S gets off one shot and Elsie is hit. “Bastard” she cries as she drops and Doug goes in, swinging his pickaxe handle. King’s crowbar is no defence against Doug Piranha in a rage and King breathes his last. In memory of his brother Dinsdale, Doug nails Jason’s head to the floor!

Dawkins opens the door to the Ballroom. Gladstone tries to block the back door but its already locked. Hawley and Tennison head to the main hall area.

Bertie 'Knuckles' Strangelove, Bifferidge 'Biffa' Bacon, Verne Cocklecarrot and Terry Shortcake having penetrated the back passage, now enter the Hall via the Conservatory.

To be continued...

The Case of 'Swiss' Tony's Thumb and the Lady Mayoress - Turn 6

Enraged by DC Babs Windsor being gunned down in front of them, PCs George Gently and Bob Lewis charge at the perpetrator, 'Swiss' Tony.

Calmly puffing on his cigar, 'Swiss' shoots Gently at close range, another copper down and 'Swiss' is feeling rather pleased with himself, having gunned down two rozzers in cold-blood before he's even had his breakfast. PC Bob Lewis can do nothing in the narrow corridor.

Meanwhile, in the Billiard Room next door, DI Grim makes his move. Resisting the urge to take his shirt off and do a 'Bruce Willis' (he had tried it back at the nick, but remained unconvinced whether it was his best look or not) he gingerly feels the knob of the door in front of him.

Flinging the door open wide, Grim is confronted by the lovely vision that is Mimsie Slopcorner, Tony's gal!

Mimsie raises her pistol as does Grim. Shots are exchanged and in the sudden fury of it, it takes a second or two before Grim's team realise what has happened. Mimsie is on the floor and not moving, Grim has taken a flesh wound to the upper arm. Realising that he has so far come through relatively unscathed, Derek Grim begins to plan out how he will be relating this epic event back in the CID room at Gasforth nick.

In the main hallway, Luther and Otis exchange shots. Otis, somewhat distracted by the big crack he's just noticed in the oak panelling, misses Luther completely. Luther scores a hit on Otis but Otis is still up and fighting.

Out in the back garden, Jason King at last prevails and manages to biff Bough on the bonce with his crowbar. Doug Piranha and Elsie Tanner move towards the debonair agent whilst the other four make for the back door.

This gives King just enough time to get on his walkie-talkie and warn DCI Hawley that villainous reinforcements are coming up the back passage.

Fowler and Goody burst into the study expecting trouble but the study is empty.

'Fancy' Smith, Pat Dawkins and George Dixon enter the Dining Room from the corridor in time to see DCI Hawley assault an empty bathroom!

To be continued...