Ben Gunn, Petards and Pasties!

Britain's earliest pasty recipe dates back to 1510 in Plymouth, Devon. However this is not a reference to that 'food of the Gods' us'n eats down yer. This is a reference to a pastie which is a cover worn over one's nipple, shown here on the right to such good effect by Boubou Flaring, an employee of the Pink Pelican Inn. Expert operators of the pastie often have tassels attached which the most adept can cause to contra-rotate in an hypnotic fashion. Mimsie Slopcorner, proprietress of the Pink Pelican, knows what draws the punters in.

To Boubou's right is a man in a cauldron (no AJ, this is not the mini cauldron of which you speak). Of this, no more is to be said at this point.

On the left is Ben Gunn. After his adventures being marooned by Captain Flint and hiding his treasure, Ben has become a hermit on Isla Serpiente. He has an obsessional craving for cheese. He will be an important man to find in the game as only he knows the hideout of the two bombers, one of which will be necessary to complete a certain mission.

On Ben's left is the first of the two bombers, Pétomane le Pétardier. Pétomane is of French origin and learnt his art in the powder mills of France. He and his colleague 'Stink-Pot' (not shown) are much in demand for specialist jobs such as blowing up entrances into forts and suchlike. Pétomane has been accused before of using too much black powder and this has resulted in one of his clients rebuking him by saying “You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.”

(Interesting fact: the word Pétard comes from the Middle French péter, to break wind, from the root pet, expulsion of intestinal gas, derived from the Latin peditus, past participle of pedere, to break wind)

Another mission in the game will be to steal items of Sir Gilbert Hill's luggage. Being a very wealthy man, Sir Gilbert has many items of luggage which he has left on the quayside to be dispatched by his minions to Government House. He has also left it under the guard of his pet monkey, Asmodeus. If the players are quick, they may be able to snatch items of great value (or they may end up with Sir Gilbert's laundry which, after several weeks at sea are not the most savoury of contents!).

The Blue Death and Ena Sharples

A lot of the characters shown so far have been either targets for the players in terms of their treasure or are merely embuggerance factors designed to frustrate the players and provide the umpire with smug satisfaction. These two characters may prove more useful to the players.

On the left is Arya the Assassin, otherwise known as the Blue Death, referring to her habit of always wearing blue when out for a kill. She is a master of disguise. Very little is known about Arya but she can be hired by the players to assassinate others. On the right is Ena Sharples, an habitué of the Rover's Return. Ena is a herbalist (some may say witch) and potion-maker with a reputation for healing. Don't be put off by that massive wart on her nose. Players buying her a milk stout (her favourite tipple) at the Rover's may find a wound or two healed.

The Relic Bearers

These Brothers complete the Brothers of Santo Marcas. They are the Relic Bearers and are entrusted with the most valuable and revered relics in the Brother's possession.

L to R: Brother Godot holding the Rod of Asclepius, Brother Guildenstern with the Holy Grail, Brother Karamazov holding aloft the Rose Croix and Brother Rosencrantz with the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

ARTHUR:
Yes, of course! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch! 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard carries with him. Brother Maynard! Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!

MONKS: (chanting)
Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem
Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem

ARTHUR:
How does it, um-- how does it work?

LANCELOT:
I know not, my liege

ARTHUR:
Consult the Book of Armaments!

BROTHER MAYNARD:
Armaments, chapter two, verses nine to twenty-one

SECOND BROTHER:
And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy."
And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--

MAYNARD:
Skip a bit, Brother

SECOND BROTHER:
And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

Sir Gilbert Hill

Followers of the blog 'The View From The Hill' (listed in the sidebar) will no doubt be familiar with the name of Sir Gilbert Hill of VBCW fame. This post features one of Sir Gilbert's ancestors of the same name.

Sir Gilbert Hill has just arrived at Puerto de Viento Pasajero (the main port town) on the Islas de Pasaje de Vuelta. He is a friend of Sir Frobisher Fotheringay-Featherstonhaugh, the Governor. Rumours are rife as to why this tremendously wealthy dilettante and doyen of English high society would take the trouble to visit these small islands in the Caribbean, far from his vast estates in Herefordshire.

Just visible in the background is the enormous travelling chest which Sir Gilbert has brought with him. Already, various nefarious elements of the island's ne'er-do-wells are speculating as to the possible contents of said chest.

Sir Gilbert has stopped off at The Pink Pelican for a quick one to wet his upper-class whistle. Trudi and Helga (who are twins) have brought out some liquid libation to stiffen the sinews of Sir Gilbert. There is also a flagon of ale for Sir Gilbert's valet and fixer who is known simply as Wrench. Wrench is never without his seven-barrelled blunderbuss, which he refers to as "my persuader!"

Jean Vagabondé sits quietly in the background swigging his brandy, eyeing the foppish newcomer with disbelief. "Un autre rosbif" he thinks to himself, "autant d'utilisation comme une théière au chocolat!"

On the left is the exotic dancer, Redolence Sweetmeat. Redolence has been forced into the life of a dancer at the Pink Pelican at the behest of Sir Frobisher. The Sweetmeat family owe him money and Redolence has been forced to work at the Pelican to pay their debts. Her younger sister, Perfume has been taken on as the cleaner.

The Mule Gun

The Brothers of Santo Marcas have acquired a cannon. The brothers are normally armed with sticks and cudgels but they feel that in light of the troubled times, something more is required in the way of fire power. Consequently they have renovated an old Spanish cannon, found on the island. The Brothers call it their Mule Gun, as their mule, Muffin does all the hard work transporting the gun, powder and ball around the island, escorting the monks on their travels. Brother-Gunner Graham has been given the job of firing the cannon but in actual fact all the gunnery knowledge comes from Hercules, an escaped slave adopted by the monks. Hercules understands the science of gunnery after a short stint on a pirate ship. Brother-Gunner Graham seems to be holding his hat on, expecting a rather large blast but I don't think he has too much to worry about with that pea-shooter. It could give attacking pirates something to think about though.

Jean Vagabondé

Here we have Jean Etienne Gerard Vagabondé, a very salty old French seadog. Jean will always be found at the Rover's Return. His past history is unclear although there are many rumours. The most common theory is that he was a very successful pirate who decided to retire whilst the going was good. It would at least explain why he seems to have plenty of dubloons and no seeming need to work to obtain any more. Although Jean seems wealthy, he didn't get that way by throwing his money around and he's always the last to the bar and quite often seems to have left his money pouch in his lodgings. Jean would prefer to cadge drinks by telling his seafaring tales for the price of a good brandy and it must be a good brandy. Old in years now, Jean still feels a young man at heart. Some verbatim quotes from the old matelot himself:

“Much like my own reputation as a brave French sea dog has been gained in sweat, blood and bravery over many hard years at sea and that can never be taken away.”

“Don’t think I’ve always been this fellow with grey whiskers that you see today, propping up the bar in this old tavern.”

(Followers of Vagabond's Wargaming Blog may recognise this fellow! Refer to the Sails of Glory reports of daring naval actions!)

A bit of a WIP trial layout.

As the title says, I am just laying out a lot of unpainted and unfinished stuff just to get an idea of what needs doing before the big game in November. There will be 4 separate tables but they are interconnected by sea (in my imagination). Table 4 remains a closely guarded secret and is likely to remain so until the game begins. The other tables are Government House and it's environs, the chain of small islands and the big table has the dockyard a sort of floating town and the route to a sandy cove which leads to the Government House table. Clear as mud, eh?

The kitchen with 3 of the tables in view, on the left table Government House, then the docks on the big table and the island chain in the distance by the back door.

The island chain. I intend to inter-connect the foam islands with rope bridges.

Government House.

In the foreground, the sandy cove which will lead to Government House.

The dockyard and part of the floating town.

Mr. Justice Cocklecarrot

Abbot Prodnose implores Mr. Justice Cocklecarrot to stop and give alms for the poor. Cocklecarrot is in too much of a rush to get to court and anyway, he couldn't give a toss for the starving poor. Mr. Justice Cocklecarrot always carries his own legal papers in a large satchel even though he has more than one assistant. People are beginning to talk about the satchel and wonder at the contents, obviously something very valuable if Cocklecarrot needs to keep it by his side, always.

Cocklecarrot is the Island's Judge and is a great favourite of the Governor's. This is due to the fact that Cocklecarrot is what they call a 'hanging judge'. He loves to don the black cap at the end of a trial, thinking it makes him look rather stern but suave and debonair. The Cocklecarrot family motto is Facta Est Anima Mea Usque, Noli Me Confundere Factis (my mind is made up, don't confuse me with the facts).

Here we see Sir Frobisher Fotheringay-Featherstonhaugh, admiring his greatest treasure, the famous Mukkinese Ruby. It is said to be priceless but it carries an ancient curse since it was stolen from the Mukkinese Moghul, Ramitin III in the 11th century. Any pirate worth his salt would give his left leg for a chance of stealing that ruby.

Torturers for Hire!

PURPLE HOOD ENTERPRISES

EXECUTIONERS AND TORTURERS FOR HIRE

Our Day Starts When Your Enemies' Days End!

Prop: J. Rombaud     Est:1680

So reads the sign above the door at the premises where the Purple Hood resides. He does take his work seriously. Jean and his apprentice, Frankie the Mad Axeman are seen here with the tools of their trade and a few of their recent victims. The Governor of Islas de Pasaje de Vuelta, Sir Frobisher Fotheringay-Featherstonhaugh quite often makes use of their services and is probably Jean's best customer. Jean and Frankie have a good reputation for cleaning up after one of their 'wet jobs', none of this 'flesh flying out of the window and incommoding the passers-by!'

Flashy in the Caribbean!

Seen here carousing are Colonel Mountebank Flashman and Mimsie Slopcorner, outside the Pink Pelican Inn. They are singing bawdy sea shanties whilst consuming copious quantities of rum. Colonel Flashman is supposedly in command of the Royal Marine detachment at Fuerte Indigestión. In fact, Captain Flack runs a tight ship with his Marines whilst the Colonel spends most of his time at the Pink Pelican Inn, drinking and wenching. The Marines are guarding the mysterious prisoner seen in an earlier post. Only Colonel Flashman is aware of the true identity of the prisoner and the reason for his incarceration. Rumours that the mysterious prisoner is none other than the Marquis de Hernía, the Man in the Iron Truss (thanks AJ!) may be confirmed during game play! Mimsie Slopcorner is the proprietor of the Pink Pelican Inn, a sink of iniquity where anything may be had for a price.

The Purple Hood and others.

Every community obviously needs a public executioner! On the Islas de Pasaje de Vuelta the chief executioner likes to style himself The Purple Hood, for obvious reasons. The Purple Hood's real identity is in fact Jean Rombaud, a French stay-behind after the English invasion of the islands. Jean thinks the hood will hide his identity whilst off-duty. However, everyone in the islands can recognise that magnificent beer-gut as Jean follows his favourite hobbies of drinking and wenching!

Here, he is accompanied by Walter Gabriel, a long-time resident of the islands and arch-enemy of Albert Tatlock, Landlord of The Rover's Return. Some say their enmity dates back to when they were both young men, competing for the affections of one Minnie Caldwell, an island beauty.

On the right is a lady of a different kind altogether. This is Marie Catherine Leveau, cook and doyenne of Government House. Sir Frobisher Fotheringay-Featherstonhaugh swears by her goat curry and her ackee and codfish is to die for! However, under this veneer of servility lies a very scary lady. Marie is the Voodoo Queen of the islands and is much feared as an expert practioner in the arts of Voodoo. Many local people come to her for poisons, love potions and a myriad of other magical potions and spells.

A Rebellion is Simmering!

As mentioned in a February post, there is a rebellion brewing amongst the slaves on the plantations scattered amongst the Islas de Pasaje de Vuelta. Toussaint Lafermature is the mastermind behind it and has been secretly arranging a base for escaped slaves in the mountains on the main island, Las Montañas de las Tetas.

You will notice that most of the place names are Spanish. This gives me a chance to indulge my schoolboy sense of humour whilst having a back story to the islands occupation. Although home to the indigenous Carribbean people, the islands were first taken over by the Spanish in the mid-17th century and colonised. Briefly occupied by the French after the Spanish, the islands then fell into to the hands of the English, who invaded in 1680.

The escaped slaves have been making small raids on outlying plantations to gain stores, weapons and ammunition. Their leader, Meadowlark Lemon is seen here (5th from left) with his ardent supporters and a fearsome bunch they are too!

The Governor, Sir Frobisher Fotheringay-Featherstonhaugh aware of the growing unrest in the islands, has increased the size of the Town Watch. Although, of course, the Watch themselves have no intention of going up into the hills to arrest people. They are content to remain in town, arresting rogues when they have the numbers and taking bribes when they don't!

L to R: Apprentice Watchman Tinklebury Shoe (twin to Reginald), Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom, Watchman Fred Colon, Lance-Watchman Salacia Delorisista Amanita Trigestrata Zeldana Malifee von Humpeding (known as Sally for short), Watch Commander Samuel Vimes, Captain Delphine Angua von Überwald, Watchman Carrot Ironfoundersson, Watchman Cecil Wormsborough St. John  Nobbs (known as Nobby for short), Watchman Susan Sto-Helit, Apprentice Watchman Reginald Shoe (twin to Tinklebury).

'Peaches'

Come closer friends, for to disclose this scandal, one must whisper. In times gone by, Captain Teatime Snapcase was wont to dally with the affections of one Morgan Adams. This Morgan is a feisty pirate with her own ship and crew and a rather bloodthirsty pirate to boot. Then, and this is when the scandal began, somehow Teatime encountered Verity Felicity Fotheringay-Featherstonhaugh, eldest daughter of the Governor of Islas de Pasaje de Vuelta. Struck by Cupid’s arrow, Teatime enticed the beautiful Verity (known to her intimates as Peaches) away from the family home with tales of rum, gold and adventure on the high seas.

Needless to say, Morgan was somewhat disenchanted with this development and challenged Peaches to a duel. Peaches, thinking herself a competent swordswoman, met Morgan at dawn on the beach below El Acantilados de Flatulencia. Morgan outclassed her and Peaches lost her left eye to Morgan’s rapier.

Peaches has sworn to exact revenge from Morgan. Teatime, not wanting her to lose the other eye, has employed the services of one Syrio Forel, a Spanish fencing master who has retired to Islas de Pasaje de Vuelta.

Seen here is Peaches first lesson with Syrio. Syrio has suggested that Peaches should start chasing cats to improve her speed and dexterity! Teatime observes whilst a concealed Morgan watches in consternation from the roof nearby.