Saturday 20 November 2021

Jhamjarhistan: Chapter 2, A Surprise for Father Jack

The Basmachi have armed themselves with a mountain gun. A small calibre piece, but surprisingly long range. Although muzzle-loaded, it has a rifled barrel and fires a 7 pound shell up to 3,000 yards.


Keen readers will have noticed that Enver Pasha's secondary objective was to abduct or kill Father Jack Hackett. Not being one much given to vacillation, Enver gives the order to open fire immediately on deployment. The very first shot of the game is from the Basmachi mountain gun.

A match is applied to the touch-hole and with a tremendous bang, the gun fires. As the smoke clears from around the gun, the crew are as surprised as anyone to see an explosion at the Mission Station.

As previously seen, Mrs. Doyle was at that moment serving tea to the assembled Fathers on the roof. Seconds later, an explosion and tragedy. A direct hit on Father Jack, who manages to utter his dying words, "Feck, girl's knickers" as he shuffles off this mortal coil. The tragedy lies more in the demise of Mrs. Doyle and Father Dougal as collateral damage.


Father Ted and Bishop Len Brennan can only look on in horror. "That money was just resting in my account" mumbles Father Ted, as if expecting Divine Retribution to come his way next!

Over to the south-east, Vaggers has opened the throttle on his Enfield and roared across the plain, heading for the dig site, with only one thought on his mind, Bunty!


Honeysuckle Weeks has the Roller at top speed, trying to keep up with Vaggers.


The Gurkhas advance towards the Royal Palace in Djelibad, the Jats appear to be heading for the market and the Gentlemen's XV, along with the mortar platoon are heading for the dig.


To the north-east the Zeppelin Korps seem to be advancing in three directions, with Marlene Spanckwürst remaining at the deployment zone.


In the south-west, the Zhlobinski Penal Battalion advance towards the Mission Station after hearing a loud explosion from that direction. The Tachanka covers their right flank. The Krasnyy Sotnya lead the advance towards the dig, followed by the Cheka and the Traktor HMG. Trotsky himself brings up the rear accompanied by the P'yanyy Kazaks.

It has to said at this point that Trotsky began to sing. His favourite tune? The Cheka Song and he gave a lovely rendition of it as the Cheka swaggered pompously along, in the wake of the Krasnyy Sotnya.

Meet the Cheka ’cause the boys are here — 
The boys to persecute you.
With torture and slaughter to help you on your way — 
To raising the rafters with a hey-hey-hey!
With knives and skewers and whips old and new — 
With us about you won’t feel blue!
So, meet the Cheka ’cause the boys are here — 
The boys to persecute you!
B – O, B – O – Y – S, boys to persecute you!


With Bolsheviks advancing from the south-west and motorised troops advancing from the south-east, the ad hoc dig-site guards were getting twitchy. Fingering their triggers, they prepared to sell their lives dearly. As it transpired, the HMG in Genevieve and rifle fire from the Krasnyy Sotnya, disposed of them before they fired a shot.


Now, if you have been paying attention, you will know that the German's secondary objective was to eliminate Dietrich von Strepsil. Hella von Zeppelin was loathe to carry out this villainous order, but felt she had no choice. Now, the terrible deed had been done for her, although she is yet to gain the dig site entrance and find the truth for herself.

Undeterred by the opening of hostilities, the elite Krasnyy Sotnya advance in good order. They do however, realise that they have low supplies of ammunition (a poor dice roll). Bunty Hamster-Crust appears to be in mortal danger and needs to relocate swiftish!


To be continued...

4 comments:

A J said...

Good grief! What a devastating shot from the blue. Poor Mrs. Doyle! Fr. Hackett bites the dust. Mind you, his breath would've counted as a flame-thrower at close quarters, so a lucky escape for someone there.

Martin Thornton said...

I was expecting Father Jack to last a bit longer. I don't think even Enver Pasha expected a direct hit on the first turn!

Frank O Donnell said...

I always knew Fr Jack would go out with a bang lol but poor Mrs D I guess she up in Heaven now getting the milk for the tea delivered from Ernie lol

Martin Thornton said...

Hi Frank. Yes, it was a shame about Mrs. Doyle!