Setting Jhamjarhistan Ablaze - Part the Fifth

Whilst urgent preparations are afoot in Peshawar, the archaeological dig outside Djelibad continues apace. The girls of the Rumpole Scholars were excavating several kurgans, burial chambers dating back to the Iron Age and possibly containing remains of the Scythians of Central Asia, who were nomads and livestock herders.

A merciless sun beat down upon the covered heads of the students of Hilda Rumpole College, Oxford. Professor Hilary de Spongepants (Rumpole College’s Chair of Archaeology) was fussing over her ‘gels’. “My gels”, she declared “are the crème de la crème. Spotting Ophelia Bottomley-Throppet (daughter of the aforementioned Monty Bottomley-Throppet) stopping to mop her glowing brow (ladies do not perspire, they merely glow) she bustled over to ensure that Ophelia was fully buttoned-up. “Scorpions, you know darling, like to get in your unmentionables”, Hilary liked to warn her ‘gels’. Hilary had her favourites and was not afraid to show it. The other students had nicknamed Hilary’s favourite girls ‘the Spongepants Set’. Ophelia was in the Set, along with the Honourable Bunty Hamster-Crust, Araminta ‘Minty’ Creosote, Prunella Gusset-Monger, Philomena Uphill-Crumpet and Lady Camilla Marsupial-Trout.

Araminta ‘Minty’ Creosote, the Honourable Bunty Hamster-Crust, Professor Hilary de Spongepants (Rumpole College’s Chair of Archaeology), Ophelia Bottomley-Throppet and Lady Camilla Marsupial-Trout

Ophelia thought that being told to button-up was less to do with scorpions and more to do with the appreciative looks given to her and the other ‘gels, by the two amateur archaeologists and travelling adventurers who had joined them on the dig. Previously to their arrival the only male members of the dig (apart from the hired Jhamjarhistani labourers, of course) were Lord Gustavus Creosote and his valet, Biscuit-Barrel.

The new arrivals were Cecil de Leominster, his valet Stirrup and Baron Dietrich von Strepsil (© Doug ex-em4).

Cecil de Leominster and Baron Dietrich von Strepsil

For the back story of these two adventurers, we have to refer to the writings of D. M. D’Emfore himself. Taken from D’Emfore’s magnum opus, Travels in the Back Passage, D. M. reveals how these two legends originally met.

Cecil de Leominster was born in 1896 into an aristocratic (but somewhat impoverished) Borsetshire family and has drifted through life effortlessly. His background is classical English upper class – Eton, Oxford, a spell in the Guards. In between Oxford and the Guards, he served for a year in the 2^nd Battalion, The West Borsetshire Foresters which he joined as a volunteer in 1915. Joining with him, indeed acting as his soldier-servant for a while was Stirrup, an employee of Cecil’s wealthy uncle Sir Rufus Pitt-Bulstrode, Squire of Much Rampling. Stirrup soon tired of his servant role and joined one of the rifle platoons where he served with distinction, becoming a sergeant. Cecil managed to get a transfer to the Guards after much behind-the-scenes influence was expended by Sir Rufus and also finished the war with an enviable service record.

After the war he was restless and unhappy in peace-time England and spent most of his time abroad where, surprisingly both for himself and his friends, he became fascinated by archaeology. He renewed his acquaintance with Stirrup when visiting his family back in England and soon became aware that his old servant and comrade-in-arms was as out of place in rural England as he was himself. Stirrup by this time had become Sir Rufus’ valet.  So, with the blessing of his uncle he offered Stirrup the job of valet which, given the nature of Cecil’s travel, was likely to offer as much adventure and variety as anyone could wish for.

Since then, Cecil and Stirrup have travelled widely in Asia, Africa and South America. Their adventures have been dangerous and rewarding.

Dietrich von Strepsil is the only son of a landed German family. Born in 1892, his upbringing was very typical of his class and time. His family estate in Upper Silesia was extensive and provided ample opportunity for a young nobleman to develop the skills and accomplishments that were expected of him. A spell in the army was a natural part of his education and he joined Ulanen-Regiment von Katzler Nr.2 at Gleiwitz in 1908. He served for 3 years, attaining the rank of Oberleutnant, then studied archaeology at the University of Greifswald until war broke out.

Rejoining his regiment upon the outbreak of war at his previous rank of Oberleutnant he served with distinction on the Eastern Front and was promoted to Rittmeister at the start of 1916. He was seriously wounded in 1917 and by the time he had made a complete recovery (except for a slight limp) the war was ended.

The post-war situation in Germany left him depressed and disgusted so, as soon as he could, he travelled overseas on a self-financed archaeological expedition.

 It was while he was investigating reports of Macedonian artefacts in Anatolia that Cecil first encountered the young Baron von Strepsil. Initially, it was not a friendly encounter. Both were investigating the same reports of interesting finds and both had hired groups of local labour to assist them in excavations. Confrontations and minor scuffles broke out over disputes about use of sites, water supplies and other niggling issues. The atmosphere was not helped by the indisputable fact that the two rival expedition leaders had been wartime enemies. However, everything changed on the night that mountain brigands attacked water-parties from both expeditions, murdering three labourers. Von Strepsil and de Leominster are very different in many ways but when action is needed, particularly instant, violent action, they are as one. The brigands were put to flight, leaving several of their number on the field and from that night, von Strepsil and de Leominster have been the closest of friends and constant companions in all sorts of escapades and adventures. The fact that Dietrich only fought on the Eastern Front in the war went a long way to reconciling Cecil’s man, Stirrup, to the new friendship.

(With thanks for the permission, text in italics written by Doug ex-em4 aka D. M. D’Emfore)

To be continued...