Pope Benedict
XV was saddened to hear that his missionary priests in Jhamjarhistan had been
slaughtered by persons unknown in the Old Souk in Gummibad, a town to the north
of Djelibad. Visiting Bishop Brennan from Ireland was with the Pope when the
news cam through. “Holy Father” he said, “I have just the replacement priests
you need. My priests on Craggy island have been doing sterling work locally.
They would jump at the chance to go to Jhamarhistan”.
Of course,
Bishop Brennan was being a little economical with the truth here. The priests
of Craggy island were his bête noire and he was delighted to find an
opportunity to be shot of them.
The priests
in question were Father Ted Crilly, Father Dougal McGuire, Father Jack Hackett and
their loyal housekeeper, Mrs Doyle. They had been banished to Craggy Island as
punishment for different incidents in their past: Ted for alleged financial
impropriety (apparently involving some money 'resting' in his account and a
child being deprived of a visit to Lourdes so that Ted could go to Las Vegas),
Dougal for something only referred to as the "Blackrock Incident"
(resulting in many nuns' "lives irreparably damaged"), and Jack for
his alcoholism and womanising, particularly for an incident at a wedding in
Athlone.
Recently
Father Ted Crilly had delivered a very nasty kick up the arse to the Bishop and
Len Brennan was not going to take it lying down! Ted was forced into this after
losing a bet to his rival from Rugged Island Parish, Father Dick Byrne.
“Send them
with my blessing “, intones the Pope “but make sure a hit-squad from the Ordo
de quod Crucis Gladio go with them, for protection”. “It will be as you
say, Holy Father” replies the Bishop.
The Catholic
Church's Ordo de quod Crucis Gladio (Order of the Cruciform Sword) are a
covert and secret order of warrior nuns. The Order dates back to 1066, when a
young Valkyrie woman named Sigrdrífa converted to Christianity. Renamed Mater
Casia Bellator, she selects a new Mother Superior (distinguished by her
lavender coloured robes) every generation to carry on her mission of battling
the agents of hell, along with her highly trained Sisters.
2 comments:
More great additions to the adventure Martin, can't go wrong with Nuns with guns ! LOL
Thanks, Dave. Watch out for the Fat Nun with a Big Gun!
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