The Gentlemen of Much-Piddling

After much dilatoriness, procrastination, apathy, inertia, dormancy and lethargy, Doug ex-em4, Vagabond and myself have applied some deliberation, pontification, consultation, cogitation and confabulation to the naming of our little group of friends and wargamers.

We are henceforth to be known as:

The Gentlemen of Much-Piddling

The Gentlemen of Much-Piddling provides a collective and collocative title for the foibles, pettifogging, quirks, idiosyncranicities, waffling and hyperbole of three charming, sophisticated and erudite gentlemen of distinction, who rise above the hoi-polloi and riff-raff to bring a touch of style and class to wargaming.

This is our new logo and we have adopted Rudyard Kipling's famous quote as our motto.

Edit: Friday July 24th. I have just found this quote which I rather like, from Andrew Jackson and seems to be the American equivalent of Rudyard Kipling's quote; “I have never in my life seen a Kentuckian who didn’t have a gun, a pack of cards, and a jug of whiskey.”

The Case of 'Swiss' Tony's Thumb and the Lady Mayoress - Turn 5

Unbeknownst to DCI Hawley, a Jaguar screeches to a halt at the back gate to Snapcase Hall. The only representative of law and order to observe this is Jason King and he is engaged in a fight with 'Snorter' Bough. King has been thoughtfully provided with a radio by DCI Hawley, but is currently unable to use it, due to his being engaged in a bout of fisticuffs.

Out get six of the nastiest ruffians one would never hope to meet down a dark alley, alone at night. Really, one wouldn't even want to meet them in a cosy living room with all the lights on either! It is of course, Elsie Tanner, Bertie 'Knuckles' Strangelove, Doug Piranha, Bifferidge 'Biffa' Bacon, Verne Cocklecarrot and Terry Shortcake. They have returned from casing the Snapcase Emporium in Loose Chippings in preparation for the greengages snatch planned for later that month.

The fight between Bough and King continues.

Meanwhile, indoors Otis Spunkmeyer runs towards 'Swiss' to get instructions. 'Swiss' Tony and Mimsie are in position to ambush any intruders.

Inspector Fowler and PC Goody have pursued Spunkmeyer inside through the unlocked main door. Having entered, they are confronted by three closed doors and spend precious seconds deciding which way to go.

Sergeant Dawkins assembles her team after the demise of 'Camp' Freddie. George Dixon has the sledge hammer and batters down the door. They have a view up a long corridor with no one in sight.

DCI Hawley enters the Hall and finds himself in a room with three closed doors.

DI Grim enters the Hall at the same time from the other side and finds himself in a room with a closed door opposite.

DC 'Babs' Windsor leads her team from the front and is half-way along the entrance corridor when tragedy strikes. 'Swiss' Tony leans around the corner and discharges his piece. It's a good shot and poor 'Babs' drops to the floor, mortally wounded. A young life cut short.

PC George Gently jumps over 'Babs' to try and get to her killer.

Here's a shot of DC 'Babs' Windsor reporting for duty at Scotland Yard, before being assigned to DI Grim's CID unit at Gasforth nick.

To be continued...

The Case of ‘Swiss’ Tony’s Thumb and the Lady Mayoress - Set Up

It may be helpful at this juncture to show the plans of Snapcase Hall. As the inhabitant, 'Swiss' Tony obviously had access to these. DCI Hawley played the game with only a sketch map of the external environs and no knowledge whatsoever of the internal set-up. Each time he opened a door he did not know what was behind it. I couldn't post these photos whilst the game was in progress as DCI Hawley had to be kept in the dark.

This shows the interior of Snapcase Hall.

This shows the interior with the rooms labelled. 'Swiss' and Mimsie started the game in the Ball Room but are now in the Main Hall. The Major and his kidnap victim the Lady Mayoress are in the Library.

This shows the doors, red stars indicating external doors and green stars indicating internal doors. The red stars at the top and bottom of the photo are where the assault teams are entering the Hall.

Hyarpendé - Market and Inns

Should you be looking to buy a new rug, visit the market place in Hyarpendé. Wiwfakr Yaas'oob, the rug seller at the market has some of the finest rugs in Harad available. Mention my name and you’ll get a good discount too.

I'm hoping to have enough time to re-base some of the figures in these photos. I don't know why they are walking around the market with big discs of sand attached to their feet!

In this scene at the market, you can see the Golden King and entourage, top right. At Hyarpendé market, you can pretty much buy anything. You may of course, be fleeced by the merchants whose only desire in life is to make money!

Here we see the patrons of the Pink Pelican Inn, a better class establishment than the Mottled Earwig, but still, caveat emptor, as they say.

Here, at the Mottled Earwig Inn, things are a little bit more basic, shall we say. Still, very over priced, but it's here or the Pink Pelican if you are staying overnight to sample the flesh-pots of Hyarpendé.

This is the mayor's house. Ghuzol Su'naam is the mayor of the town and is hoping to meet with the Golden King during his visit.

Hyarpendé

My next on-line game is going to be a fantasy/RPG/miniatures type of game. Doug and Vagabond will be cooperating (what, shock, horror, I hear you say!) as the Fellowship of the Ring. It takes place in a town called Hyarpendé. It can be seen on this map, towards the top, south of the port of Pelargir in Gondor.

Here is the larger map of Middle Earth to give context.

A Guide to Hyarpendé

The most important town in Harithilien is the trading haven of Hyarpendé (South Slope), opposite Pelargir on the bank of the Anduin and at the northern terminus of the Hyarmentië. Life there is intimately connected with that of Pelargir, and it has grown accordingly.

Hyarpendé was built around the Númenórean ferry station linking the Hyarmentië to Pelargir. As Pelargir became a major trading centre, Hyarpendé was transformed from a lazy village into a bustling gate to the eastern Vale of Anduin. As roads were built and communications established, its business changed from principally fishing to exclusively trading. Merchants providing horses and mules for the caravans to and from Pelargir prospered and the town became renowned for the high quality of its horses.

The link to Pelargir is a ferry whose operation dates to the time of the Pelargirean League. People and goods are shipped to and from the city every two hours. The ferry is almost always full, with lines of people waiting in turn on both sides. To be ferried across the Anduin costs 20 Brasslings for one person, adding one Brassling for each man's load carried. Livestock and horses are not allowed on the ferry. If one wanted to transport such goods, special arrangements would have to be made. There are plenty of fishermen willing to ship strangers and cumbersome goods, providing the payment is high enough. Since the risks of trusting in strangers who could be criminals are high, so are the prices. The unwary traveller can end up paying ten times the fare of a ferry trip.

There is a local coach line that connects Hyarpendé to the towns along the Poros as far as Tir Ethraid. From there it is possible to travel to Harondor or Minas Ithil. The cost of a coach trip is 1 Copper per mile. Hyarpendé is centred around the ferry berth, where an engraved, thirty-foot tall obelisk marking the end of the Hyarmentië is all that remains of the original Númenórean ferry station. There are a few shops, mostly providing equipment and provisions for people traveling within the country. There is a bustling local market in the town centre. Three local merchants sell horses and mules and also run the coach line. There is a small smithy, where only basic services are offered.

The Pink Pelican Inn, a large establishment, provides meals and a place to sleep for the weary traveller. As does the Mottled Earwig at the other end of town. Prices are high in both inns and the service is poor, but as they are the only alternatives on the south bank of the River Anduin, they flourish.

Wuqayh Qiqqi (travel correspondent for the Hyarpendé Times)

Here we see the entrance of the Golden King of Abrakhân into Hyarpendé. It looks like there's going to be a bit of a traffic jam in the market place. It seems by coincidence, that the Brotherhood of the Swan have arrived in Hyarpendé at the same time as the Golden King. The Brotherhood of the Swan is a secret society and more about that later in the post. The inhabitants of Hyarpendé believe them to be a sect who worship Ilúvatar and are therefore a friendly sect.

The Brotherhood of the Swan

The Brotherhood of the Swan is an ancient, secret order dedicated to the protection of Gondor from a variety of real and imaginary enemies, especially those of a magical nature. It has members all over Gondor but has always been strongest in Pelargir and the surrounding areas.

The identity of its Master is kept secret from the rank and file, with communication being maintained by the councillors and coded messages. Many of the Brothers are extremely fond of codes and cyphers and use them even when there is no real need. The typical member of the order is relatively inexperienced (at least, where real dangers are concerned), extremely secretive, fanatical, and self-righteous. They are very loyal to each other and to the Brotherhood and will not betray its secrets, except in the direst circumstances (such as magical coercion).

The Brotherhood owes its existence to the conditions during the first Easterling invasion during the T.A.490s. Its founder, Siriondil was a Pelargirean nobleman with a strong interest in magic and Elvish lore. Seeing the need to protect Gondor against its enemies, but being out of favour with King Anardil, he chose to act on his own initiative. The members of the Brotherhood were originally chosen from among his friends and relatives, mostly members of the upper class of the coastal area. The King’s spymasters did of course, learn of the order, but dismissed it as a bunch of harmless eccentrics.

During the next millennium, the Brotherhood had its ups and downs, at times almost ceasing to exist and in other times playing a noticeable role in Pelagrian politics. At the beginning of the Kin-Strife, the Brotherhood supported Castamir, but the cruelties and excesses of his regime soon changed their minds.

In the T.A. 16402, none of the Brotherhood’s present members (with the exception of Othir Pelendur) occupy high positions in the Royal Government. Some can be found in the Squire’s Hall and in the military hierarchy, as well as in some of the wealthy merchant houses. The population at large is totally unaware of the Brotherhood’s existence. Indeed, most people would probably not care very much if they knew of it. Southern Gondor’s real enemies such as the Corsairs of Umbar think them harmless.

Extract from the secret files of Aa'naad Qa'nokr (Golden King’s Spymaster)

The Golden King of Abrakhân

The Golden King is a man who has an incredible eye for profit and exploiting those through whom he can increase his vast wealth.

The Golden King of Harad is the lord of the merchant city of Abrakhân, located on the crossroads of the Great Harad Road. The Golden King wears a golden mask and a deep blue and purple robe. On his back he wears a large banner of the Eye of Sauron and patterns of Abrakhân. He carries a large two-handed blade and rides on a palanquin carried by two guards. Abrakhân is one of the wealthiest cities in all of Middle-earth, being on an especially important trade route between Gondor and Umbar. The colours of Abrakhân consist of rich blues, purples and golds. The banner of Abrakhân is a golden scorpion on deep blue.

The armies of the city are generally better armed and presented than other Haradrim tribes. The defences of Abrakhân are large sturdy walls of stone. If the walls were to fail, the enemy would need to manoeuvre through the winding streets of the city, and from the roof tops, arrows would whistle down onto the unwary prey below. If, by the smallest chance they reach the inner sanctum of the city, the Abrakhân guard would quickly dispose of any survivors. Only once has Abrakhân ever fallen to siege, back in the Khandish raids.

The Golden King rarely shows himself in battle, instead sending chieftains in his place. The Golden King likewise tends to ignore affairs beyond his city. When in war, the Golden King prefers to remain at the rear of his force, giving a commanding presence to his troops. Few people see beneath the golden mask, and those who did see, did not live to tell the tale.

Qaas'il Qawfod (columnist for the Hyarpendé Times)

The Case of 'Swiss' Tony's Thumb and the Lady Mayoress - Turn 4

The three assault teams who discovered the locked doors in the last turn, now take one turn to break the doors down. Luckily, DCI Hawley had remembered to issue sledge hammers to each of the assault teams. During the game, I e-mailed photos to each player, but only photos which showed what their characters could see, if that makes sense? Some of the photos sent were not particularly good photos but were used to show the player what an individual could see.

The assault teams were sent a view of what they could see after they had broken down the doors.

DC 'Babs' Windsor's view.

DCI Frank Hawley's view.

DI Derek Grim's view.

'Swiss' Tony and Mimsie take cover by the western side of the hallway. The Snapcase Hall model was built without any doors, so I had to keep remembering to put bits of black card in for the photos. All internal doors were unlocked but were all closed.

'Swiss' Tony's view down the corridor.

Otis enters the Hall via the unlocked main door.

Inspector Fowler and PC Goody find the main gates unlocked, open them up and move towards the Hall. They observe Otis entering the Hall and conclude that the main door must be unlocked.

In the back garden, Frank 'Snorter' Bough and Jason King confront each other.

Frank ‘Snorter’ Bough moves forward with his ‘nostrils’ at the ready. He can hear the ruck on the east side of the Hall and decides to check out the back garden. At the same time, Jason King emerges from behind the pig-sty cursing the muck that’s getting on his Carnaby Street trousers. They see each other at the same time, both raise their weapons (King with a pistol, Bough with a sawn-off shotgun) and fire. In somewhat of an anti-climax both miss each other!

As ‘Camp’ Freddie bravely battles it out on the east side, PC John Luther and Sergeant ‘Fancy’ Smith rush to join the fight. Well,  Luther does, ‘Fancy’ has had too many doughnuts and arrives short of the fight, gasping for air! Freddie has George Dixon to his front battering him with his truncheon, Sergeant Dawkins has got her ammonia spray out of her handbag and sprayed poor Freddie in the face and to cap it all, Luther has come up behind him and clubbed Freddie on the back of his head with his rifle butt. Freddie has no option but to expire gracefully in front of the door he has so valiantly defended.

To be continued...

The Case of 'Swiss' Tony's Thumb and the Lady Mayoress - Turn 3

Otis moves to the north-west corner of the Hall to see what has happened to Billy the Fish.

He cautiously peers round the corner and is astounded to see coppers everywhere. He can see three rozzers trying to open the side door. Further behind them is more movement in the dark. It looks like Billy the Fish has had his chips! Otis could have shot at the coppers but decided it was in his best interest not to announce his presence.

Inspector Fowler and PC Goody advance towards the main gate to Snapcase Hall. "You'd better have your truncheon in your truncheon-pocket and not a Curly-Wurly" snaps Fowler as they advance.

Fowler and Goody's view of the Hall, they just catch a glimpse of Otis who is scouting the west side.

Jason King has now managed to climb the wall behind the pig sty. He is desperately trying to keep away from any pig shit which might soil his elegant Carnaby Street suit. Outside of King's hearing, DCI Hawley tends to refer to King as "that ponce!" Jason King cannot see anybody yet. 'Snorter' is out of sight behind the woodshed.

'Swiss' Tony and Mimsie move into the central hallway to see what's going on. They can hear noises at the entrances to the east and west of the Hall.

Over on the east side of the Hall, the action is hotting up! As 'Daft' runs over to assist 'Camp' Freddie in the ruck, PC Luther takes a shot at him with his sniper rifle. Eric is running and in the dark, Luther shoots wide. 'Daft' joins the ruck.

WPC Jane Tennison has observed Eric's approach. Taking her ammonia spray from her police-issue handbag, she sprays it right into Eric's boat race. Eric is out of the game. Dixon and Freddie are still at each other's throats. Dixon seems to be gaining the upper hand but Freddie just won't go down.

Three of the four assault teams have now reached their objective and are confronted with locked doors. There were nine possible entrances and Doug was given the choice at the start of the game as to whether he wanted individual doors locked or not. Doug elected to keep one of the southern doors open, next to Frank Bough and also leave the main door to the Hall open. All the rest were locked.

The assault teams line up to batter down the doors.

To be continued...

Good Morning Vietnam!

I was lucky enough to be a participant in Vagabond's on-line Vietnam game based on the film BAT*21.

This is a link to the background and aims of the game and Vagabond describes it much better than I could.

Good Morning Vietnam

This is a link to the actual game report. I was given the role of an Australian SAS team who were to rescue BAT*21. I chose the call-sign BRUCE4X.

Good Morning Vietnam - The Game

This is a link to the Wiki article which describes the real story.

Rescue of Bat 21 Bravo

I knew that I had to move through  about 30 km of enemy occupied jungle, mainly in Laos and then another 30 km to an extraction point, supposing that I had managed to find BAT*21. I knew nothing about the terrain and had to construct my own map as I went along.

It was a fascinating game. Very atmospheric and absorbing. I am hoping we get to play another one. Get yourselves over to Vagabond's blog to read the amazing story of Owen Snapcase's daring rescue bid.

Abrakhân Merchant Guard

No posts for a while. I have had a trapped nerve in my spine which made sitting at the PC rather painful. It's starting to ease off now due to liberal applications of sinew-stiffening libations. I am hoping to catch up with the AAR for 'Swiss' Tony shortly. In the meantime, I am planning a Fantasy/RPG/Miniatures on-line game with Doug and Vagabond. I managed to paint these up to be used in the game.

The Merchant Guard of Abrakhân are first and foremost mercenaries, offering their services to whoever can pay the most. However, within the city of Abrakhân there are none who can pay anywhere near as much as the Golden King, and it is to him that the Merchant Guards’ loyalties lie. These sturdy warriors may look as though they are well fed, and while this may be true, they possess a strength that rivals even the strongest of men that Gondor has to offer.

I have also painted Saruman, ready for the game. I think I will be taking the part of Saruman.

The Lord of the Nazgûl, also known as the Black Captain, appears as the Witch-king of Angmar during the Third Age, instrumental in the destruction of the North-kingdom of Arnor.

The Nazgûl, also known as Ringwraiths, The Nine, The Fallen Kings and the Black Riders were the dreaded ring-servants of the Dark Lord Sauron in Middle-earth throughout the Second and Third ages, who in the later years of the Third Age dwelt in Minas Morgul and Dol Guldur.

The Grey Company (not painted by me) was led by Halbarad and the twin sons of Elrond, Elladan and Elrohir. They traveled from the north seeking Aragorn at Galadriel's request. To Aragorn they brought advice from Elrond, and a banner made by Arwen bearing her seal. Their horses were strong and proud but rough-haired. As their name implies, they wore cloaks or mantles of grey colour and carried no symbols save for a white star on each of their brooches.

Finally, the Fellowship of the Ring (also not painted by me). L to R (back row): Gimli, Aragorn, Gandalf, Legolas, Boromir and Gollum. Hobbits in the front row: Merry, Frodo, Pippin, Sam.