"Gentlemen, we will stand and fight".

The following starts to set the scene for my game at AshLAM '19 entitled 'Gentlemen, We Will Stand and Fight'.

My apologies for the shameless plagiarism from first Antony Hope's excellent book 'Gentlemen, We Will Stand and Fight' and secondly from the Middlesex Regiment's War Diary. The uncomfortable night spent in the railwayman's tool shed was in fact the story of Captain Cunningham, commander of 'C' Company and his batman, Private McDonald. My rather silly names for characters is in no way intended to be derogatory to the men who fought that day in August 1914. As this game will take place over the Remembrance Sunday weekend it will be a poignant reminder of the horrors of the Great War.

“Gentlemen, we will stand and fight.”

General Sir Horace Lockwood Smith-Dorrien, 25th August, 1914

General Sir Horace Lockwood Smith-Dorrien

General Alexander Heinrich Rudolph von Kluck

In the early hours of 26th August 1914, as the British Expeditionary Force (the Old Contemptibles, as they liked to refer to themselves) retreated in the aftermath of the Battle of Mons, Lieutenant General Sir Horace Smith-Dorrien’s Second Corps was facing the most extreme danger. It’s 60,000 fighting troops, exhausted and scattered, were spread out to the north and west of the town of Le Cateau. BEF C-in-C Sir John French’s orders were to continue the Retreat at all costs, while von Kluck was desperate to bring the British to battle.

Sir Horace decided to stand and fight, trusting to the skill, courage and marksmanship of the men who had already proved themselves at Mons three days before, reckoning this preferable ‘than to turn our backs on the enemy in daylight’. He was outnumbered three to one, and some of his fighting battalions and field artillery batteries had only an hour or two to dig in and prepare for battle. And yet by the end of that day the men and officers of Second Corps, with only 1,200 of their own killed, had inflicted casualties on the enemy of nearly 9,000 and delivered him such a blow that the BEF was able to continue the Retreat almost unmolested for the next ten days. It has been called ‘one of the most remarkable British feats of arms of the whole war’. Yet while two brigades of infantry and two brigades of artillery were fighting for their lives on a hill by Le Cateau, only ten miles away the rest of the BEF – Haig’s First Corps – was marching steadily away from them.

Le Cateau, 04.00am, 26^th August 1914

In Le Cateau the 19th Brigade were having the devil of a time even before the first shots were fired. The four battalions of the 19th Brigade had come to France to man the lines of communication and they had been hastily pressed into fighting service at Mons. Now, although they came nominally under the orders of the Second Corps under General Sir Horace Smith-Dorrien, like many other units they had received no orders cancelling the retreat. No one had been able to find them. They had reached Le Cateau very late and had bivouacked near the railway station. Captain Kenwood-Chef, in command of ‘C’ Company, the 1st Middlesex was fortunate in having Lance-Corporal Spankhurst as his batman and Spankhurst was a very resourceful soldier. Nothing got him down and the news from home that his wife was with child gave him an even sunnier disposition. His cheerful demeanour had been a distinct comfort to Kenwood-Chef on the long retreat from Mons. When the company had settled down in the station yard for the night, Spankhurst had taken it upon himself to find a billet for the Captain. It was no palace, merely a railwayman’s shed between the points a little way along the tracks. It was impossible to stand upright and since the hut was a dumping ground for tools it was not too easy to lie down, but Kenwood-Chef had been grateful. Spankhurst had even managed to produce a mug of hottish tea (and a dash of ration rum) when he poked his head into the shed with the unwelcome news that it was time for Kenwood-Chef to arise from his slumbers. It was a quarter to four in the grey dawn of Wednesday, 26th August and already the exhausted and sleepy Battalion was rousing reluctantly to move off before full daylight. The 1st Middlesex would be the last of the four battalions to move, for this morning they were to be the rear guard to the Brigade and, as rear guard to the Battalion itself, the men of ‘C’ Company were to be the last out of Le Cateau.

Captain Kenwood-Chef summoned the acting commander of 1 Platoon, Colour Sergeant ‘Neddy’ Snapcase, to his tool shed. Neddy had taken over the platoon after the death of Lieutenant Strangely-Brown at Mons. The platoon was now understrength with no hope of replacements at present. The only consolation Neddy thought, as he saluted Kenwood-Chef was that he had a 4-man Vickers machine gun team, attached to his platoon. Including himself, a total of 31 men fit to fight.

“Now then, Snapcase, good man, good man. 1 Platoon have fought bravely and now I have a very important job for your lads”.

“Sah!” replied Snapcase, always a good answer when replying to an officer.

“Our orders are to be clear of the town by 05.30am this morning. It’s now 04.00am and I see no way that 1st Middlesex as rear guard will be able to quit Le Cateau until about 06.30am”.

Neddy glanced about at the chaos in the railway yard and further afield and could only agree. The RAMC boys were still trying to evacuate the last of the wounded by stretcher and ambulance. The roads were blocked by BEF General Service wagons as the other companies of the 1st Middlesex tried to leave nothing behind for the enemy. Civilian carts with panicked drivers interfered with the process and there were abandoned stores, ammunition and battalion transport everywhere.

“As you know Snapcase, ‘C’ Company are to be the rear guard to protect 1st Middlesex, I want Number 1 Platoon to be ‘C’ Company’s rear guard. You are to defend the eastern edge of Le Cateau, specifically the following buildings; L’Oeuf de Canard, the bicycle repair shop, the church, the Boulangerie de L’Eglise and of course, the vital crossroads they command. All clear so far?”

“Sah!” replied Neddy.

“Good show, Colour Sergeant. I want you to deny the enemy those buildings and the crossroads until you are sure the Brigade has cleared the town. Once you are sure the Brigade is clear, you may effect a fighting retreat and re-join ‘C’ Company as soon as possible. I want you to take Lance Corporal Spankhurst with you to act as your runner. Pip, pip.”

“Sah!” replied Neddy, as he saluted and about-faced. At the double, he ran back to 1 Platoon, closely followed by Spankhurst clutching his .303 Lee Enfield and a snap-sack with all his worldly goods.

So there we have to leave the brave lads of 1 Platoon for the moment as they assess how they will defend their sector of Le Cateau to give the rest of the battalion a chance to establish their battle lines in the open country behind Le Cateau.

These are the buildings and crossroads which Colour Sergeant Snapcase and his under-strength platoon, must defend.

AshLAM '19

It is nearly time for myself, Porthos Snapcase to travel north for the annual meeting of the three musketeers. A meeting with Athos and Aramis and three full days of gaming. There will be copious amounts of sinew-stiffening liquor and no doubt a few pies! For the past two years the event has been held at Snapcase Hall, Much-Piddling, Deepest Devon (see DevLAM ’17 and DevLAM ’18). However, this year we are meeting in the lovely Derbyshire Dales for AshLAM ’19. This will take place at Vagabond Towers, the home of Aramis.

The Three Musketeers

My fellow musketeers have stolen a march on me by already blogging their preparations, as we put on one game each over the three days. Aramis Vagabond has posted an entire prequel game which sets the scene for the game we will be playing. Have a look here at The Little Whiskey Bath House and Brothel War of 1875 – Prequel.

http://vagabondswargamingblog.blogspot.com/

My other fellow musketeer, Athos, Comte d’Emforé has completed a trial game of Kill Zone in preparation for a bigger game at AshLAM ’19. Check it out here:

https://velodoug.wordpress.com/

I will be presenting a game called ‘Gentlemen, We Will Stand and Fight’ set in August 1914 at Le Cateau.

My next action needs to be a trial run-through of my game now I’m lagging behind. My next post should contain the introduction that sets the scene for my game.

Black Seas Arrives!

Much excitement here at Snapcase Hall today. Old Scrotum (the wrinkled and ancient family retainer) came into the library struggling under the weight  of a large packet dispatched from Warlord Games. Inside was my pre-order of this golden age of sail game set between 1770 and 1830, 'Black Seas'.

Roman Supply Cart

I've been away on holiday for a couple of weeks and hence, no painting. I ordered this little cart from Colonel Bill's Wargames Depot whilst I was away and have just finished it. I'm quite pleased with it.

There will be a small Roman supply column for the Celts to attack. Possibly an attempt to kidnap an important hostage, we shall see.

Gaslands Trial Run

I am just running a test game of Gaslands ready for the big game next Saturday, as mentioned in the previous post.

My Slackside WMC Tour Bus is wiping the floor with the Curry Cottage Drop Kick Bus (remains unpainted, I’m sorry to say).

Here, they are both racing to go through Gate 2 and the Curry Cottage hit that tree, lost two hull points and demolished the tree!

Slackside take advantage of the Curry Cottage cock-up and power-slides through the gate first with tyres burning!

In a fit of pique, the Curry Cottage mob rams the Slackside Tour Bus!

Gaslands

I've got a game of Gaslands coming up and I've just painted my first vehicle for this Post-Apocalyptic Vehicular Combat game. I'm playing my nephews and the reference to Slackside WMC is an in-joke with the family. Too complicated to explain!

I shall now be kicking some PA vehicular arse with the WMC's tour bus!

Ancient Britons Finished

My first unit of Ancient Britons finished. These are warriors from the Dumnonii tribe under the command of Maigistreás Blastarnach. Another unit of 10 to come and a contubernium of Legio II Avgvsta.

A Close Run Thing!

On the 3rd September 1879, a deadly conspiracy resulted in the slaughter of Sir Louis Cavagnari, the British representative in Kabul. The leaders of this uprising believed they had killed all the British in Kabul but a small British patrol was still at large. Twelve soldiers of the Devon Regiment, including Sergeant Scrotum and Sergeant Spankhurst had been on an intelligence gathering patrol south of Kabul when the uprising occurred. They were led by 2nd Lieutenant Bertram Snapcase, a rather green and unpromising subaltern just out from England. Snapcase had assumed Afghan costume to attempt to enter a village without arousing suspicion. A decision which had not yielded much in the way of results, mainly due to his inability to speak the local dialect!

Realising the immense danger of the situation, Snapcase decided to lead his men to an abandoned watch-tower near Charasiab and hole-up there until the British arrived, as they surely must.

Snapcase addressed his soldiers to impress upon them the importance of winning through to the watch-tower. To do this, they had to pass through a small village called Aynak which might be occupied by hostile tribesmen.

The village of Aynak in the centre, the Devons will enter from the left and the abandoned watch-tower is on the right.

2nd Lieutenant Snapcase gives his boys a pep talk.

As the village hove into view, Snapcase could see movement to the east and the west of the village. Through his binoculars, he determined they were tribesmen, seemingly armed with muskets.

The tribesmen are entering from the left and the right and the Devon boys are at the top centre of this picture.

After some hesitation, Snapcase manages to get his small command moving forwards. Here the experience of those old sweats, Sergeants Scrotum and Spankhurst comes to the fore. They veer to their right to avoid the Afghan tribesmen as much as possible.

The Devons eventually move forward and somehow Snapcase has engineered his position leading from the rear, with his pet dog, Chulmleigh.

Meanwhile the tribesmen take position on the flat roofs in the centre of the village and await developments.

The hesitation of the Devons in advancing has given the tribesmen time to prepare their positions. The British stop to give fire and manage to hit one tribesman. However, even with Snapcase's limited intelligence, he could see that they could not afford to take cover and outshoot the Afghans, even with the superior range of their rifles. There was nothing for it but to press on, into the face of the Afghan muzzles.

At first, the British have the advantage, being able to shoot whilst they remain out of musket-shot of their enemy.

The Devons realise they must make progress and come into range of the tribesmen's antiquated muskets.

As Snapcase and his brave little force come into range of the tribesmen, a hail of lead bursts through their ranks. Snapcase, commanding from his rearward position, sees four of his soldiers drop to the ground. He checks to see if any are still alive, luckily they are all dead as he cannot afford to carry the wounded, bearing in mind that old adage.

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,

And the women come out to cut up what remains,

Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,

An' go to your gawd like a soldier.

As the soldiers advance again, more shots ring out from the rooftops and Snapcase is down to four men, himself and his dog. Things are looking bleak. The British, returning fire kill three tribesmen.

Snapcase orders an advance 'at the double' over the stream.

The four remaining soldiers, including Scrotum and Spankhurst, make an ignominious dash across the stream and start to move as fast as possible towards the watch-tower.

Two more Devons are hit in the dash out of the village and Snapcase is left with his Sergeants Two.

Three men and their dog are running flat out now but two bands of tribesmen are converging on them.

it's not going to be good if this lot catch up with them!

Somehow, Snapcase seems to be leading from the front now, with salvation in sight.

Just a few more yards now, chaps, "I'll go in first and get the door ready, you two Sergeants bring up the ladders to slow them down."

...and with seconds to spare they're through the door, with Snapcase dropping the 4" oak beam into place to bar the door from the inside!

At the top of the tower, the British can shoot down on the Afghans. Unfortunately, the Afghans short-range muskets won't reach the top of the tower. The tribesmen mill around in fury but are unable to reach the hated British. Snapcase unwraps the Union Flag from around his waist and flies it upside down from the tower. The sign of British troops in distress. "All we have to do now chaps, " opined Snapcase, "is wait it out. Old 'Bobs' will be up the Shutargardan Pass like a dose of Andrews* liver-salts!"

A great game of 'The Men Who Would Be Kings' from Osprey. The British threw some rubbish dice at the start, failing to even move for two turns. At the end, when moving at the double, they managed to throw some superb dice, resulting in their rush to the tower being successful. Although the Afghan muskets only had a range of 6" they were quite devastating at close range, as Snapcase found out!

*Other manufacturers of liver-salts are available.

Woad and Shields

A few more Ancient B's completed. I need about 20 to start a game of SPQR. Need to get some Romans done too.

Better Far is Woad

(Sing to the tune of 'Men of Harlech')

What's the good of wearing braces,

Vests and pants and boots with laces,

Spats or hats you buy in places

Down in Brompton Road?

What's the use of shirts of cotton,

Studs that always get forgotten?

These affairs are simply rotten:

Better far is woad.

Woad's the stuff to show, men.

Woad to scare your foemen:

Boil it to a brilliant hue

And rub it on your back and your abdomen.

Ancient Briton ne'er did hit on

Anything as good as woad to fit on

Neck, or knees, or where you sit on.

Tailors, you be blowed.

Romans came across the Channel

All wrapped up in tin and flannel:

Half a pint of woad per man'll

Dress us more than these.

Saxons, you can waste your stitches

Building beds for bugs in britches:

We have woad to clothe us, which is

Not a nest for fleas.

Romans keep your armours;

Saxons your pyjamas:

Hairy coats were meant for goats,

Gorillas, yaks, retriever dogs and llamas.

Tramp up Snowdon with our woad on:

Never mind if we get rained or blowed on.

Never want a button sewed on.

Go it, Ancient Bs.

My First Roman

I've never painted any Romans before so I'm quite pleased with my first one. Can be used for SPQR, OGAM and Broken legions.

Marcus Licinius Crassus

A little known-fact about this Roman General:

The first ever Roman fire brigade was created by Crassus. He took advantage of the fact that Rome had no fire department, by creating his own brigade—500 men strong—which rushed to burning buildings at the first cry of alarm. Upon arriving at the scene, however, the fire fighters did nothing while Crassus offered to buy the burning building from the distressed property owner, at a miserable price. If the owner agreed to sell the property, his men would put out the fire, if the owner refused, then they would simply let the structure burn to the ground. After buying many properties this way, he rebuilt them, and often leased the properties to their original owners or new tenants.

R.I.P. Rutger Hauer

 

“I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”