A Close Run Thing!

On the 3rd September 1879, a deadly conspiracy resulted in the slaughter of Sir Louis Cavagnari, the British representative in Kabul. The leaders of this uprising believed they had killed all the British in Kabul but a small British patrol was still at large. Twelve soldiers of the Devon Regiment, including Sergeant Scrotum and Sergeant Spankhurst had been on an intelligence gathering patrol south of Kabul when the uprising occurred. They were led by 2nd Lieutenant Bertram Snapcase, a rather green and unpromising subaltern just out from England. Snapcase had assumed Afghan costume to attempt to enter a village without arousing suspicion. A decision which had not yielded much in the way of results, mainly due to his inability to speak the local dialect!

Realising the immense danger of the situation, Snapcase decided to lead his men to an abandoned watch-tower near Charasiab and hole-up there until the British arrived, as they surely must.

Snapcase addressed his soldiers to impress upon them the importance of winning through to the watch-tower. To do this, they had to pass through a small village called Aynak which might be occupied by hostile tribesmen.

The village of Aynak in the centre, the Devons will enter from the left and the abandoned watch-tower is on the right.

2nd Lieutenant Snapcase gives his boys a pep talk.

As the village hove into view, Snapcase could see movement to the east and the west of the village. Through his binoculars, he determined they were tribesmen, seemingly armed with muskets.

The tribesmen are entering from the left and the right and the Devon boys are at the top centre of this picture.

After some hesitation, Snapcase manages to get his small command moving forwards. Here the experience of those old sweats, Sergeants Scrotum and Spankhurst comes to the fore. They veer to their right to avoid the Afghan tribesmen as much as possible.

The Devons eventually move forward and somehow Snapcase has engineered his position leading from the rear, with his pet dog, Chulmleigh.

Meanwhile the tribesmen take position on the flat roofs in the centre of the village and await developments.

The hesitation of the Devons in advancing has given the tribesmen time to prepare their positions. The British stop to give fire and manage to hit one tribesman. However, even with Snapcase's limited intelligence, he could see that they could not afford to take cover and outshoot the Afghans, even with the superior range of their rifles. There was nothing for it but to press on, into the face of the Afghan muzzles.

At first, the British have the advantage, being able to shoot whilst they remain out of musket-shot of their enemy.

The Devons realise they must make progress and come into range of the tribesmen's antiquated muskets.

As Snapcase and his brave little force come into range of the tribesmen, a hail of lead bursts through their ranks. Snapcase, commanding from his rearward position, sees four of his soldiers drop to the ground. He checks to see if any are still alive, luckily they are all dead as he cannot afford to carry the wounded, bearing in mind that old adage.

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,

And the women come out to cut up what remains,

Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,

An' go to your gawd like a soldier.

As the soldiers advance again, more shots ring out from the rooftops and Snapcase is down to four men, himself and his dog. Things are looking bleak. The British, returning fire kill three tribesmen.

Snapcase orders an advance 'at the double' over the stream.

The four remaining soldiers, including Scrotum and Spankhurst, make an ignominious dash across the stream and start to move as fast as possible towards the watch-tower.

Two more Devons are hit in the dash out of the village and Snapcase is left with his Sergeants Two.

Three men and their dog are running flat out now but two bands of tribesmen are converging on them.

it's not going to be good if this lot catch up with them!

Somehow, Snapcase seems to be leading from the front now, with salvation in sight.

Just a few more yards now, chaps, "I'll go in first and get the door ready, you two Sergeants bring up the ladders to slow them down."

...and with seconds to spare they're through the door, with Snapcase dropping the 4" oak beam into place to bar the door from the inside!

At the top of the tower, the British can shoot down on the Afghans. Unfortunately, the Afghans short-range muskets won't reach the top of the tower. The tribesmen mill around in fury but are unable to reach the hated British. Snapcase unwraps the Union Flag from around his waist and flies it upside down from the tower. The sign of British troops in distress. "All we have to do now chaps, " opined Snapcase, "is wait it out. Old 'Bobs' will be up the Shutargardan Pass like a dose of Andrews* liver-salts!"

A great game of 'The Men Who Would Be Kings' from Osprey. The British threw some rubbish dice at the start, failing to even move for two turns. At the end, when moving at the double, they managed to throw some superb dice, resulting in their rush to the tower being successful. Although the Afghan muskets only had a range of 6" they were quite devastating at close range, as Snapcase found out!

*Other manufacturers of liver-salts are available.