The Case of 'Swiss' Tony's Thumb and the Lady Mayoress - Turn 8 - The Denouement!

The four reprobates who entered the Conservatory in turn 7, now make their way into the Ballroom. Sergeant Pat Dawkins was peering in the door on the last turn. Seeing these plug-uglies arrive in the Ballroom, she turns and runs for the safety of the Dining Room.

Unfortunately for the lovely Patricia, Terry Shortcake catches a glimpse of her running and gets a shot off. Just as Pat makes it to the doorway and possible safety, Terry's hastily fired shot hits her in the back and she's down, right in front of the astonished gaze of DCI Hawley who has reentered the Dining Room.

Who will make funny faces behind Christabelle Wickham's back now?

Having disposed of Jason King, Doug Piranha moves towards the back door to assist his colleagues in the battle against the filth!

Luther, Smith and Dixon take up firing positions in the expectation of a running gun battle with the four thugs in the Ball Room.

Here I add the exact words from Doug ex-em4's e-mailed instructions for this turn. The major gets hold of the Mayoress from behind (steady....!), holds the gun to her head and shouts, "any coppers come in here, she gets it. I ain’t joking. And you, tosspot [i.e. PC Goody] fuck off out of it, NOW..." The Major was commissioned from the ranks, hence his language and attitude to ladies.

Meanwhile, in the Library, it’s all happening. The Major has uttered his threats to kill Dame Christabelle and blow me, Plod has just bloody ignored him and come in mob-handed! Fowler leads the charge with Maggie Habib and Gene Hunt behind him. Kevin Goody moves into the attack and Derek Grim appears in another doorway.

“Give up Cadwallader, you’re nicked!” shouts Fowler.

“Bollocks, coppers, I meant what I said!” and so saying, the ex-Major shoots poor old Christabelle in the head. (shades of Mimsie Hawley and Peaches Snapcase here! Déjà vu).

The Mayoress is down and enraged all the coppers advance.

There are tears streaming down Fowler’s face as he bludgeons Crispin Cadwallader with his truncheon. Raymond carries on clobbering the Major long after the Major has shuffled off this mortal coil. Raymond has to pulled off by Maggie Habib.

Fowler is yet to learn of the demise of his partner, Pat Dawkins and he has seen his secret crush since junior school shot in front of him, quelle horreur! Quelle tragedie! As the dust settles in the Snapcase Hall Library, Raymond Fowler's mind drifts back to happier times. A memory of that time he fainted in his office and Christabelle was there to revive him. Patricia was none too happy though. That night when they got home, in a fit of pique she dashed Raymond's half-built Airfix 1/72 Lancaster Bomber to the kitchen floor. Happier times!

At this point the remaining five scrotes decide that discretion is the better part of valour and remove themselves from the Hall heading for 'Swiss' Tony's Jaguar and freedom. As Maggie Habib tries to comfort Fowler, Derek Grim starts to daydream. Will this caper be enough for him to join the Gasforth Masons? He's been assiduously practising the Mason's initiation rites in the CID room with the assistance of Gary Boyle.

Our tragedy in several diverse parts now has to end, as unhappily as it began. I would like to thank Doug ex-em4 and Vagabond for all the laughs and playing the game like the Gentlemen of Much-Piddling that they are! Well played, chaps.

The End.