AAR - 'On the Day, Went the Eagle's Landing Well?' - Part 3

PART 3 – TRAGEDY FOR THE HOME GUARD

Meanwhile, the Kriegsmarine were out for a lovely stroll along the tow path of the Much-Piddling to Market Snodsbury Canal.

The 5^th Column, staying in disguise, move cautiously through the woods towards their rendezvous with Prien and his men. Another Pickett-Hamilton has activated to their left. The occupant, Captain Peter Fleming is waiting until they have passed in order to cause more mayhem.

Unwittingly, I had made the link-up between the 5^th Column and the Kriegsmarine somewhat easier than that for the Luftwaffe and the Black Shorts. The Luftwaffe had Cold Comfort Farm between them and the Black Shorts. Cold Comfort Farm was occupied by the Women’s Land Army who were, I hoped, to provide a formidable obstacle. The Kriegsmarine route behind the back of Snapcase Hall back-passages was pretty much out of sight all the way.

The Luftwaffe come up behind the sheep.

The Black Shorts advance through Cold Comfort Farm, much to the disgust of ‘Stiffy’ Pinker and the other girls of the Women’s Land Army.

All is quiet outside Futtock’s Motor Services.

Hearing rifle shots, Sergeant Wilson of the Much-Piddling Home Guard snaps out a crisp order to Private Walker, “I say Joe, would you mind awfully stepping over to that wall and having a look to see what the devil’s going on?” Joe reports back, “Blimey, Jerries coming up the main road!”

Zimmermann with his MG-15 takes up[ position behind the tree with a good view of the road and the approaches to Snapcase Hall. This turned out to be a very useful strategic placing for the MG-15 and caused me no end of trouble.

Zimmermann opens up with his machine gun and the fire proves to be very effective against the stout-hearted boys of the Home Guard. Over a few turns the scene around the MPU turns to carnage as the brave defenders are mown down. Private Michi is the only soldier to have survived the onslaught and is seen here giving return fire. For this solitary delaying action, Private Michi has been recommended for the Military Medal. Barliman Butterbur remains glued to the MPU and is cowering in fear behind his cast iron ovens. Leutenant Sabartovski can be seen on the left sneaking behind a wall trying to get a shot at Michi. In the background, members of the 5^th Column are using the confusion to approach the Hall.

Kapitänleutnant Günther Prien makes contact with Joanna Grey, Otto Skorzeny and Liam Devlin. The 5^th Column hand over the vital intelligence and the Kriegsmarine are now free to attempt to carry out their mission of kidnapping Prince Phillip from Snapcase Hall.

After disposing of Seth Starkadder in a particularly brutal fashion the Luftwaffe make contact with the Black Shorts. Oberleutenant Schimmel hands over the secret code book to Roderick Spode in the pig sty. In return, he receives the startling news that Spode needs the Ancient Charter of Piddling to become Reichsprotektor.  Currently, the charter is in the safe, located on the top floor of Snapcase Hall. Staffelkapitän Stahl now realises that he must penetrate the interior of the Hall to succeed in his mission.

The Ancient Charter of Piddling.

A rough translation of this ancient document runs as follows: Do not make me work. The holder of this document has certain rights. The lord's right is his. This allows the holder to have sexual relations with peasant women on their wedding nights. The holder has the right to rule the fiefdom of Much-Piddling. The holder has the right to drive his cows through Market Snodsbury on a Sunday. At Easter the holder may promenade without his nether garments and wave his private parts at spinsters. The holder may wear a leather apron, roll up his trouser leg and dance the pavane at Muckletide. During the time of the Spurge the holder may wear odd socks and extend his cod piece. In July the holder can demand beer from any dwelling whilst the daughter of the house combs his beard. Given under our hand the above named and many others being witnesses, in the meadow which is called Runnymede, between Windsor and Staines, on the fifteenth day of June, in the seventeenth year of our reign. King John.

To be continued…