Setting Jhamjarhistan Ablaze - Part the Thirteenth

Snapcase was sitting in his office, going through the logistics of his last-minute motorised force, destined for Jhamjarhistan. There came a knock at the door, “Enter” said Snappers. The door opened to reveal a fresh-faced Major who entered, came to attention and saluted. “Major L. T. J. Arlott, sir. 2nd Battalion/9th Jat Regiment, Mooltan Battalion, reporting for duty sir. I have been posted to Snapforce?”. “Yes, that’s right Major, come in and take a pew, we don’t stand on ceremony here”.

Major Leslie Thomas John Arlott

Snapcase summoned his office clerk, Corporal Mushtaq Ali, incidentally a rather interesting bod. As a batsman he played right-handed but when summoned to bowl, he was a somewhat deceptively slow, left arm bowler, albeit with an orthodox spin. “Large G and T’s for myself and the Major, please Corporal and make it snappy (Snappers was given to punning and fancied himself something of a wit). Now Major, are you a sporting man? We play a little cricket here when we can, obviously not much chance now we are on the qui vive for a move, but still, one likes to keep one’s eye in, what”.

It transpired that Major Arlott was mainly a club cricketer but had turned out once for his county. Snapcase was agog with interest. It seems that the young Arlott spent most of his free time following the Hampshire team both home and away. As a result of his regular support, he became known to the team and this led to his one and only brief playing exposure to the first-class game. He was watching Hampshire play Kent at Canterbury when they discovered they would be short of a twelfth man for the following game. Being willing and available, young Arlott was co-opted and he travelled with the team to Worcester. It was quite a memorable day in the field, with the Nawab of Pataudi scoring an elegant undefeated century for Worcester in one of his exceedingly rare appearances on the county circuit. The match ultimately fizzled out as just a tame draw with Hampshire scoring 313 and 91 – 2 and Worcester 413 – 3 declared. It was Arlott’s one and only appearance in a first-class cricket fixture and it had proved to be the pinnacle of his playing career.

“Been chummy with the Nawab of Pataudi [Mohammad Iftikhar Ali Khan Siddiqui Pataudi], or I. A. K. as we called him, ever since. One was hoping to bump into him, so to speak after being posted to India”, concluded Major Arlott. “Egad,” ejaculated Snapcase “we have a journo chappie from the Times travelling with us, one D. M. D’Emfore. D. M. tells me he used to turn out for the Old Flatulents along with the Nawab”. “Well, stap me vitals” replied Arlott “old D.M.’s here? How spiffy! I haven’t seen him since that regrettable incident in the Members' Pavilion at The Oval. Something to do with a policeman’s helmet, a billy-goat and the Chairman of the Selectors, as I recall!”.

The two officers had a jolly good chuckle over that rather bawdy anecdote as they downed their G and T’s. Then they stepped outside onto the parade ground to inspect the Jat soldiers. “They were of course, the old Mooltan Regiment until the recent Indian Army reforms. During the last war, they saw service at the Battle of Basra, the Battle of Qurna, the Battle of Es Sinn and then that bit of trouble at the Battle of Ctesiphon, leading to a withdrawal to Kut” informed Major Arlott. “Fine soldiers”, cried Snapcase as he inspected these fearsome warriors, “we’ll soon settle the hash of the Emir of Jhamjarhistan with these chaps, what, what”.

Major L. T. J. Arlott and the 2nd Bn/9th Jat Regiment, Mooltan Battalion.

To be continued...